I'll Show You the Youtube Videos-an epic entry of an epic night

There are a lot of disturbing lifestyle changes that come with being a Bryn Mawr student. A constant sense that someone is keeping secrets from you, a constant fear that you are breaking the honor code, a complete disregard for your personal hygiene and appearance...it's no secret, Bryn Mawr messes with your head, big time. Perhaps the most disturbing is the strange phenomenon of forgetting all of the pain and suffering of the past semester over winter break. One month ago I was in agony. Tired, completely unmotivated, living in constant fear of being a failure. At least I think I was, I can't remember. I have no recollection of my emotions one month ago, I know that it wasn't a good time, but it feels like it never happened. This happens at the beginning of EVERY semester. As a result, I forget that, in the words of Nicky, college is hard. This week hit me like a ton of bricks and keeping my eyes open has been a challenge worthy of an Olympic medal. It didn't help that I took my two days off, yesterday and today, and filled them to the brim with activities. Here's how that went down.

I'm not exactly responsible when it comes to making doctors appointments. I was supposed to make a bunch of them for over break but never really got around to doing so. By the time I did they were all booked up so I had to go home yesterday to attend to those matters. The drive home was fairly tame. A lot of trucks on the road but otherwise normal.

I got to Princeton a bit early so I got a bottle of water and sat in the grocery store parking lot to pass the time. I started a game where I counted how many  of cars that went by had the giant orange circle of doom/Princeton University parking pass on them. I stopped that game pretty quickly, there was no real point when each car had one, I was just counting cars and when you think about it that's really a sketchy thing to do...sit in a parking lot and count cars. Doctors appointment went fine, I got to read Parents Magazine, my absolute favorite magazine in the world. Stopped by the office afterwards to get money for my services, and to tell some of my stories that no one else will listen to. Came home for lunch with my mother and some quality dog time. 

Went back into Princeton for another doctors appointment. The fire alarm went off in the middle of it and the intercom recording kept shouting "code red, code red, code red". No one seemed alarmed, however, so I guess we were fine? Stopped by OMPs office to say hi, I think I frightened him a bit. I would be worried too if my daughter, who was supposed to be in another state, suddenly showed up in my office. Chatted with him for awhile, tried out a few of my stories on him as well. He casually mentioned that I should probably be getting back to Bryn Mawr, I took the hint and left (jusssst kidding).

I had big plans to stop for everything cheap that I loved in New Jersey, gas, beer and iced coffee. Numerous accidents and road work got in my way however, and I had to settle for just gas. It was getting to be rush hour time and I had to get back to Bryn Mawr for a friends birthday. I get onto Route 1 just as they're closing up the road work on the bridge. Basically, Route 1 stops dead. Greaaaat. I hate that road so, so much. After 20 minutes of hell stuck it what is quite possible the worst designed construction project ever I was able to get into Pennsylvania (woo?) and make my way to the turnpike. By this point people are getting out of work and are cranky. I'm worrying about making my friend's birthday dinner so each mile seems longer and longer. I get to Bryn Mawr at 5:03. I throw my car into a parking lot that I'm not supposed to park in and race up to Sushi Land. Luckily, I am the Michael Phelps of speed walking and I catch up to my friends at the train station. 

We get to Sushi Land and it's packed. Our friend is waitressing and she tells us we won't be able to get a seat for at least a half hour if not more. Usually we'd wait, but tonight we were going to see Amy Sedaris at Haverford and had to be able to get over there by 7:30. Our other friends had already bought wine so we needed to find ourselves another BYOB to eat. We went up the street to Vietnamese. GREAT food at this restaurant, but horrific service. I'm pretty sure the same guy is the waiter, cook and custodian. We waited for about 5 minutes but no one even appeared, we went looking for someone but no one was there. We couldn't put up with this tomfoolery and went back down the street to the Mediterranean Grill. The place was packed, and by packed I mean completely empty. Good sign or no...we couldn't tell. It ended up being a good sign as the food was fantastic. 

As time was growing closer to 7 we decided to split into groups, half the group would drive to the Ford and save seats while the other half would walk. Originally I was in the walk group, but I managed to finagle my way into the drive group, win. We thought we were going to be early but a bunch of people had through ahead of us and were already there. We still managed to get good seats in the third row. Too bad the show sucked. 

The idea was that two Haverford students would interview Amy Sedaris and we would all have a good time. Amy seemed ready and willing to be funny and have a good time but the two students were decidedly anti-good time. It was awkward, very, very awkward. Very BiCo if you will. I think we can interchange awkward and BiCo, they really mean the same thing (that's Bi-College, Bryn Mawr and Haverford, for you non-BiCo readers). Also, unexpected twist (that really given her body of work should have been completely expected), Amy Sedaris has an incredibly offensive style of comedy. Anywhere else this goes over great. At the BiCo it goes over with the "should I laugh? Is it ok to laugh?" nervous giggle. All around uncomfortable experience.

We left the auditorium in desperate need of a drink. A new bar had opened up across from the Acme (Now how appealing does THAT sound!?!) and we decided to try it out. We couldn't remember it's name so we each called it something different. My personal favorite was Peter O'Tooles, which I now solely refer to it as. Other winners included McSquirrilys and McSwirleys. The ACTUAL name is Tip O'Learys. I still prefer to call it Peter O'Tooles. Peter O'Tooles was fairly lame. It was still early so only a few old men and yuppieish guys were in there. After one beer we moved down the street to Roaches. I hadn't been to Roaches yet, but heard it was popular with the drinking crowds. It was definitely different from the other Main Line bars. I'm not sure how the Main Line hasn't kicked it out yet as the beer is stored in fridges on slabs of cardboard and the bathroom is less than perfectly sanitary. Not a usual sight in Bryn Mawr. Megan pissed off the bartender by calling him sir, apparently she hit a nerve, who knew. Needless to say I will now refer to him by sir and only sir when (if) we go back. We stayed at Roaches for awhile, enjoying the smokey beer drenched atmosphere and creepy guys. After awhile Elizabeth, the birthday girl, announced that she wanted to move on to Kellys for more fun and dancing. Kellys is about a mile away from Roaches so we began the slow, tortuous walk down Lancaster Ave, each of us assigning ourselves a buddy to make sure we all made it. This long walk taught me a lot about my friends, mainly that we're all assholes. We spent the entire walk just yelling at each other and being incredibly cruel, pointing out shortcomings like slow walking and failures as a girlfriend. One might say "well you all had some alcohol in you, so..." nope, the alcohol did not affect this. Our friendship is based off of yelling and judgement. 

We never made it to Kellys as we hit Erins first and just decided to stay there. Erins was hot and crowded and I didn't last more than one drink. Megan and Nicky set to work harrassing a man wearing a flannel shirt, with Nicky trying, as always, to figure out the fiber content of his shirt. Ari spent a good portion of the time talking to a guy that she claims is a "legend at Villanova" and when I gave her a look of confusion she responded "I'll show you the youtube videos". This man carries a light-saber everywhere he goes, so I judge the usage of the term "legend". I'm also wary of anyone who can only be explained through the usage of youtube videos. Paige and I are complete party poopers and couldn't take the hot smokey environment so we stepped outside for some air. Best decision we've ever made. First of all, we didn't get beer spilled all over us. Second of all, I ran into a friend that I haven't seen since 8th grade. Third, and most importantly, we meet Drew. Drew is a jazz musician specializing in 1920's and early 30's piano and trumpet music. We met him after he walked by us shouting into a phone "DO NOT CALL THE COPS! NO! SERIOUSLY MAN! BAD IDEA! DON'T CALL THE COPS!". We couldn't resist asking him what that was all about. After chatting with him about music and my dream to have a Great Gatsby party (he's totally down and gave me his card in case I ever go through with it) he whipped out a POCKET WATCH to check the time. Paige and I were blown away, this pocket watch weighed a ton and according to him was from the 1890's. It doesn't take a lot to amuse me so a pocket watch just blew me off the charts. I could have spent the night licking stamps and still have deemed it awesome simply because I met a man who unironically carries around a pocket watch.