11 Long Haired Friends of Jesus in a Chartreuse Microbus aka Doc Night

DISCLAIMER: The film we viewed tonight dealt with the uncomfortable subject of murder. I apologize if any part of this account seems out of line or offensive. I've done my best to keep it tame. 

10:00-Megan is sick. After determining that she does NOT have the stomach bug that is going around but rather the bronchitis she is allowed to stay. Provided she sit far away from any healthy person

10:02-We all talk about the people making out in the next room thinking that they had left. They hadn't, awkward.

10:04-

Frosh: What are you guys watching? 

Us: IT'S DOCUMENTARY NIGHT! 

Frosh: Only at Bryn Mawr.

10:05-Where the HELL are Ari and Drew.

10:06-Is Walgreens open 24 hours a day? Argument ensues...I give the final ruling, no, no it is not.

10:08-Ari and Drew finally arrive and are relegated to the window seat once again.

10:09-Nicky gives her speech. We will be watching Brothers Keeper. This is the story of Delbert Ward (full name Adelbert) charged with the murder of his brother William. The two of them plus their two other brothers lived in a tiny dilapidated house in Upstate New York. Fun fact, they were also Nickys neighbors. Let's go!

10:10-Questions? Paige: By being from upstate New York are you more likely to commit murder than we are? Nicky declines to comment and instead continues on with her speech. This is a long speech, she needs to wrap it up.

10:11-Some strange story about outsiders and a car. Also, Nicky's parents know the Wards lawyer. Apparently his son was best friends with Nickys brother. Apparently he goes to Nova now. We yell at her for not inviting him to be a special guest. Can we get this movie going yet?

10:14-We debate the eventual sweatshirts that we are going to get. Should they be professionally done or crafted? What will they say?

10:15-The movie production company is called "Hand-to-mouth" productions. Jokes, lots of jokes.

10:16-Nicky: This movie is very representative of the area I live in, farms and nothing there. Me: Fun story, my family once took a vacation to this area....and yes...it is representative of it

10:17-Lots of cows. Obligatory shot of American flag, now we know that this takes place in true America. 

10:18-Excellent early 90's newscaster. Nicky is giddy with excitement over shots of Syracuse news teams

10:21-We can't understand them. Ari asks Nicky to translate the local dialogue. She does so with ease. Paige asks for subtitles, I refuse to let this be subtitled, no one said Doc Night was easy

10:22-This mans pants are wide open. Can we fix that? I should note that the other two brothers are Lyman and Roscoe

10:25-Arguing old married couple, always a golden subplot in any documentary

10:30-Nicky is doing a REALLY good job translating...oh wait, she missed one, failure. 

10:35-P-walker stops by. She never stays for Doc Night so I don't want to write anything nice about her. Secretly she's a really cool gal. 

10:36-"There was a problem with his foot, a cow stepped on it" Nicky starts chuckling, must be upstate humor

10:37-Nicky: Oneida! That is the only city in Madison County! I took my second drivers test there. 

Don't drive with Nicky

10:39-Ah, Nicky's parents friend appears. We all get a little excited...I think...no ones really showing any emotion

10:40-He kind of looks like Shannon's dad....

10:41-

Paige: You should grow a mustache 

Drew: I have a mustache! 

Paige: Handlebar mustache, sorry, I should have been more clear

10:42-Megan bows out, the illness is just too much. Round of applause for Megan, that was a good try. Meanwhile they're having a potluck on TV. Not gonna lie, this looks like a good lifestyle. 

10:45-While people square dance in the background Paige and i have an IM conversation to pick the documentary that I will show this semester. We are sitting right next to each other

10:48-The brothers travel by tractor everywhere, it's really quite cute

10:50-Paige and I are now discussing possible scenarios where we would stick by a member of the group should someone kill another member of the group

10:52-Paige's possible scenario? "Nicky kills a stranger for fun". I crack up, the group thinks I'm cracking up at the movie, apparently it was NOT a funny part of the movie. I'm unable to breathe from laughter so Shannon rationalizes why I would find that part funny. That makes me laugh more. It's a losing battle

10:54-OH SNAP! Homosexual allegations. They brothers are gay? One brother is gay? They are incestuous? I should really pay attention

10:55-"They need to invest in a door" Shannon is captain obvious

10:58-The chicken auction, Nicky claims to go frequently. I think she is being sarcastic, but I'll pretend she isn't. We should all go to the chicken auction

10:59-Paige and I have been found out. Nicky hits me, hard, and yells at me for interrupting her doc night

11:00-Dead cat

11:01-Nicky lays down the law and bans us from IMing each other. Paige turns the tides and rats Elizabeth out for sleeping. This is turning into kindergarten

11:02-Delbert demonstrates how he supposedly killed his brother on his neighbor. Ari: NOT A FUNNY JOKE

11:07-Their lack of hygiene offends Shannon

11:08-C Down: Alright, it's time for Kill, F***, Marry with the surviving Ward Boys. 

I apologize for the crudeness, but this is a fun game. Mom, OMP, move onto the next section. I choose to marry Delbert as he is the most complex (Paige's words, not mine) Kill Roscoe, as he is the most sane and thus might turn on me and F*** Lymann as he seems quirky. 

11:12-Drew points out that they have midwestern accent. Shannon thinks they are more Irish. Nicky mumbles for awhile about what it could be and we decide that it's just an Upstate NY thing

11:13-C-Down is lying on her avocado. A terrible thing. 

11:14-Apparently abandoned school busses are common along the Upstate NY countryside, at least according to Nicky. The Ward brothers have turned theirs into a chicken coop

11:15-Nicky: There are better and more free places to live than Munsville. 

I consider asking her what she means by "more free" but let it go.

11:18-Drew can't get over the lawyers statement of 'If God told me that I was going to die, the first person I would kill would be the DA" We've all heard Nicky tell this story so we're not shocked. Drew is flipping out and calling it "the funniest thing we've heard at Doc Night" 

11:19-Drew refuses to tell me the first person he'll kill if he was going on a killing spree. While he wants me to believe this is because he's a good person who would never kill anyone, I know that's not the case

11:21-Paige takes the opportunity to try and off Shannon, something she's been trying to do all year. We should not watch any more documentaries about murder, the opportunity for non offensive jokes is very slim

11:23-Paige tells the greatest story but I don't understand it. All I know is that it involves a nephew shooting his uncle in order to avoid charges....everything turned out ok so we're allowed to laugh.

11:24-Moral of the night? Court cases are depressing. Thank God my September goal of going to law school was a short lived goal.

11:26-Paige: I love his entire being

11:27-Shannon: I hope I look better than that when I'm 66 

11:30-

Nicky: If your self esteem is low.... 

Drew: ARGH! I NEED A TRANSLATOR! 

Nicky: Oh, sorry, back on topic

11:32-I would be updating you on the movie, but it's really just sad and I'd prefer not to think about it. 

11:37-I could have done without the description of what happens when you're asphyxiated. OH JEEZ, I could have also done without the pig slaughtering.

11:38-

Nicky: Aw man, I don't want to watch this. 

Drew: I don't want to watch this either!  

As opposed to the rest of us who would just LOVE to watch?

11:39-Longest slaughtering of a pig EVER

11:47-Battery running out of the computer. I'm going to have to close this before the movie actually ends

12:00-He was innocent. More importantly, it's midnight which means it is no longer Ash Wednesday so I can start snacking again. Cheerios have never tasted so good. 

Oh right, Doc Night

10:03-Elizabeth and I are here, no one else is. It's Hell Week at Bryn Mawr so we might be interrupted by frosh doing stupid crap. 

10:05-Nicky and I discuss what constitutes a shoe. Why? Because I am not wearing shoes and I want Nicky, who is wearing shoes, to go to the next building over and buy me a soda. Our soda machine is broken, as per usual.

10:08-We will be watching "American Hardcore" the history of American Punk Rock 1980-1986

10:09-Elizabeth presents. I will switch between calling her Liz and Elizabeth tonight because after four years of friendship I still have not been able to determine which one she prefers

10:10-"this is a reaction to Reaganomics" this is going to be a long night

10:11-I should note that we're watching this because I banned Liz from showing a sports documentary. After I was turned down numerous times from showing something sports related I was sure as hell not letting her show one.

10:12-I try and convince Drew to go get me a soda. He almost falls for it but then realizes he's not wearing shoes. Foiled again by shoes

10:13-"Ronald Reagan White Man Order" "All getting up on us" oh jesus, I hate liberals

10:14-These people are just destroying everything I love and stand for.  Those things being Journey, polo shirts, order and civil obedience. Also smiling, they're against smiling

10:16-The guy with dreadlocks has the same glasses as Paige...and in that same thought also every architect of the 1950s

10:19-Drew "I like Fleetwood Mac!" once again Drew stands out as the only member of Doc Night that I like. I don't even like Fleetwood Mac, I just hate punk

10:20-Oh hey! It's the guy from the "I Love The" series. Apparently he was involved in punk. I don't care

10:22-Mighty Mighty Bosstones do not count as a punk band, come on.

10:23-"It was for kids, by kids and starring kids" HEY! That's the motto of Kidssongs

10:23-"They all sound the same"-Shannon...exactly

10:24-Sean Taggert also has Paige glasses

10:25-Apparently they played in abandoned gas stations. My professor has actually asked us to look at alternative usages for abandoned gas stations. I should bring this up

10:26-Nicky is scribbling vigorously in the corner. Apparently she's coloring aphids. 

10:28-The best part of documentaries is always watching what's going on in the background of interviews. A wedding is taking place in this one. 

10:31-There is a note on the ottoman in the center of the room addressed to Bridget It tells her to go to room 222. I assume this is a Hell Week Scavenger hunt. Bridget is going to have an awkward time trying to get her note. I look forward to her coming down.

10:33-This man is sitting in front of a swing set discussing his desire to break free from the homogeny of suburban life. Irony

10:36-I hate people who have no respect for the law. or noise ordinances

10:36-Scavenger hunters have arrived. "AHHHHHHHHHH THIS ONE HAS MY NAME ON IT! HERE'S MINE! WOOOOO!" Still no Bridget, she's clearly a bit slow when it comes to scavenger hunting. Apologies to Bridget if she is a reader of this blog

10:38-AHAHAHAHAHAHHA, Nicky just yelled at them to quiet down. Hell Week will have to wait, it's Doc Night. I'll explain Hell Week eventually, now is not the right time

10:45-Wikipedia gives us this mindblowing piece of trivia, many of the interviews were actually done in the filmmakers apartments but in different locations so as to appear different

10:48-Apparently Georgetown was quite the punk scene. Oh how sad Caroline would be if this were still the case

10:54-I can't focus on the movie, people are being loud

11:00-Bridget's still not here. The revelation that these were all filmed in one apartment is blowing our mind.

11:08-I am exhausted. I don't even know whats going on here. This movie is entirely interviews with brief periods of flashbacks to concerts. Its hard to keep track of things

11:17-"I'm getting a headache....so much yelling"-Shannon

11:24-"If she keeps pulling that shit we're gonna manifest destiny her ass"-Ari...we dislike Canadians

11:32-"The cops always started it"-Henry Rollins. Again, I hate people who don't obey and/or question the law.

11:37-Still no Bridget. Not cool, Bridge, not cool. I'd like to see a little more effort from you over the next week

11:49-Oh, the movies over. 

11:51-Bridget never showed. We go up to room 222 to yell at whomever she was supposed to be meeting there. No one answers. Too bad, it would have been funny for the poor sap to open her door and see 8 angry people standing there. I would have laughed.

As Always, Doc Night.

10:02-We're all here except Paige. Megan can't figure out how to set the TV up. She asks for help, we refuse. This is all part of presenting. Megan will be showing us "Darkon" a look into the world of Live Action Role Play (LARP). Megan dropped the ball last week and forgot to order the movie via Netflix so we had to scramble for backups. Needless to say, WE ARE SO PUMPED for this movie.
10:03-"All documentaries are now to be considered job opportunities"-Ari
10:05-Someone is banging on the door to the dorm. We have been frequently warned about the danger of letting strangers in. As an HA, I am designated as the person to go get shot by the obvious murderer/rapist/stalker. It turns out to be our friend Catherine, here for Doc Night.
10:08-No one is here. We judge
10:10- Paige: "will everyone get angry if..." Megan:"Yes"
10:13-Still haven't started.....Paige is questioning the absence of Drew. He apparently is in New York at a Knicks game. We're skeptical...the Knicks don't have fans...
10:14-Megan starts her speech. She begins by confirming that she called back the boy she met at the bar last week. We are all more interested in that. Paige demands yet another apology for the fuck up of last week.
10:15-"You should not make your weapons at home"
10:16-BATTLE NAMES ARE HANDED OUT! Epic. My battle name is Slebden. Please, only refer to me as that.
10:17-Paige has a story about a guy named Karl. I don't know where this is going. Apparently Karl was a LARPer who played a character who self-identified racist against aliens.
10:18-We finally get going, it's all good.
10:19-Uhhh, some sort of human sacrifice and ancient language......This might not be the movie we intended to watch
10:20-"I always felt like I was born out of time...like the skills I have don't fit the time period".....yessss, uh, that's exactly why I don't have a job yet....
10:22-I know for a fact that some members of this dorm actually participate in LARP. This could get awkward.
10:23-We go back 9 months, I think it's obvious....someone's going to get preggos
10:24-"I've seen porn on Showtime with similar themes"-Ari
10:25-Shotty camera work
10:28-This one guy, we'll call him Steve for now, is the son of a man who built up a "war games empire. Oh, nevermind, his name's Skip.
10:33-"It's ALMOST as good as the American dream" even if you had the context, you wouldn't know what that meant. I have no clue what that means. So confused.
10:34-Someone just bought a "supernatural death poison". Liz just brought up the BRILLIANT idea of making this a Law and Order plot, LARP gone wrong.
10:36-"At home, mom's in control, it's her house. At work, my boss is in control. At Darkon, I'm in control"-a sad realization of what my life could be next year.
10:38-Catherine appears mildly attracted to a LARPers "skills"
10:46-Uh, oh...power struggle. Who saw this one coming? Everyone. The leader is going off on a rant about the decency of the program. His little lackey behind him is CRACKING up. Way to ruin the moment.
10:49-"I'm a retail manager for Hot Topic" oh the laughter. So much laughter
10:51-A man is angry that his wife gets upset when women flirt with him during role play..."IT'S JUST ROLE PLAY". You're walking a thin line there, buddy....
10:57-"During the Columbine events" uh oh, where are you going with this buddy......
10:58-What leads to Darkon? Bad high school experiences and a love of crafting. Uh oh...Nicky fits the mold...
11:02-A surprising amount of diversity in the LARP world
11:03-LARPing is "American" U-S-A! U-S-A! "We're the terrorists and Mordom is the USA". Wait, I thought I was against Mordom...but if they're the USA...oh Jesus, I did not expect to have a moral dillema while watching this movie. We take sides, Ari and I choose Modrom. U-S-A! U-S-A!
11:05-"Would we get PE credit for this?"-Catherine. Side note, after arguing and getting screwed over every semester, I have officially completed my PE credit that was technically completed 3 semesters ago. Win.
11:09-Skip's kid practices his sword work. The boy has talent, there's no denying it.
11:15-WHOA, they have an effing castle, sorry, Citadel of Peace.
11:16-To catch you up, Bannor wanted to hold a tribunal to charge Klebman or something with some kind of crime. Klebman instead insists that they fight at the Citadel of Peace, the EXACT location that Bannor wanted to hold a tribunal. GOT IT?!?!?!
11:19-Holy...what?!?! They just set the Citadel of Peace on fire. Epic fire.
11:20-Me: Does he have a job?
Everyone in the room: HE'S A STAY AT HOME DAD!
uh, apologies....
11:23-A Darkon participant is revealed to be an actual soldier. He discusses the moment in Iraq when he realized what he was doing was real, no Darkon. Uhh...really?
11:27-Keldar was the guy's name, not Klebman
11:28-Enter the Dark Elves. They are TERRIFYING
11:35-Once again, Mordom wins. Point for me and Ari.
11:36-Oh snap, Bannor's been captured
11:37-It's a duel. Kaitlyn is far more pumped than any of the rest of us
11:38-And Bannor goes down. Paige is crying.
11:42-Bah, sudden ending. What the hell!
11:43-Post movie discussion? I'm disappointed. King of Kong was better.

Give me a child until he is seven, and I will give you a man

10:03-Worst day ever. Not sure how long I'll last here. I have bronchitis and quite frankly feel like death. Also, the soda machine just stole my money...technically it was Megan's money so I'm not as upset as I would otherwise be. I'll be frank, however, this is FAR from my best work.

10:06-Not sure what we're watching. Megan dropped the ball and didn't get Darkon, so now she has to wear a dunce cap and make an apology. Nicky brought backups, it appears we're watching the 7up series. The 7Up series follows a bunch of British youngsters from the age of 7 in 1964 through present day. 

10:10-Drew is missing. Ari is here but Drew is not. Ari goes up to her room because she is concerned that he might be "touching her stuff" which apparently is "against the rules"

10:11-Nicky makes the speech. She makes fun of Megan using an incredibly obscene phrase. Wow. Unexpected. WHOA! Surprise twist, Nicky dropped the ball and had her Netflix sent to her house rather than her house. She claims it's Netflix's fault.

10:13-Megan's apology takes the form of an interview as Paige berates her, questioning her allegiance to the club

10:14-"Enter the struggling world of the seven year old"

10:15-Already have a favorite, he wears a scarf and speaks ridiculously proper. He would judge me for saying "ridiculously proper"

10:17-All of the kids are horrible at time management. They're all late for school

10:21-Suzie has a 13 year old boyfriend. Holy moly. I don't really know how to handle this news

10:22-hahahaha, they're beating the crap out of each other

10:24-Capturing the Friedmans has left us all a little sensitive to comments about the children

10:29-Nicky tries to bring up the fact that she didn't get to go outside during school again. 

10:31-There is one kid who serves as his house captain. He's a jackass, but I want to be him. He leads exercises and the band....and he's 7. LOVE him

10:34-Ths one kid's parents are missionaries and he claims to have girlfriends all over the world

10:36-British children are born 40 years old

10:44-Ah, racism. Always enjoyable....

10:52-Tony is nicknamed "monkey". I swear to God he can climb anything!

10:53-They took all of the kids to the park. Everyone played together, except for the kids they found in an orphanage. They set to work building a house out of scrap wood on the edges of the park. Wow. Sad. 

10:53-End of 7 Up.

10:54: Begin 7+7

10:55-"Give me a child until they are 7 and I will give you a man"-We have heard that phrase at least 30 times. OUCH. This is the awkward stage

10:56-Oh this is epic. Wow, British teenagers are NOT attractive

11:02-Heh, one of them ended up in Austrailia.

11:09-HOLY CRAP! A dog is TEARING apart a rabbit in the back of this interview. 

11:11-Nicholas has the same glasses as Paige. He amuses himself by throwing rocks at rapid speed. 

11:20-Suzy refuses to look at the camera. It's driving me insane

11:24-These people grew up boring

11:25-The soda machine just took peoples money. I would have stopped them, but I'm still bitter

11:32-They're discussing their weekly allowances. Nicky is confused by British money

11:36-I feel terrible. ughhhhhhhhhhhhh, sickkkkkkk

11:40-seriously, boring, boring, boring 14 year olds

11:44-"Give me a child until he is 7, and I will give you a man"

11:50-The gang continues on to the third one. I call it a night and head to bed. 

First Doc Night of the Semester!

WARNING: Tonights feature was about "Capturing the Friedmans", the story of a family's struggles after the father and son are arrested for pedophilia. It was a very disturbing movie. Blame Paige. There are large sections missing from Doc Night of parts that I didn't feel needed to be blogged about. It was a very interesting movie nonetheless. 

10:08-Ari and Drew are late as usual, I'm struggling with getting a soda. Katelyn, a new addition to the club, helps me out by exchanging my dollar bill for quarters. Excellent addition to the club

10:09-Paige says that the movie portrays jews in a bad light then looks over to see that Shannon is reading Mein Kampf...this is not off to a good start. Paige: Uh, why...are...you reading...tha... Shannon: IT'S FOR A CLASS!

10:10-Paige got to go to Model UN conferences in Chicago. All I got was effing Yale. Paige is trying to sneak in an extra documentary...Shannon is not ok with this. Apparently this movie started off as a documentary about a clown and turned into a separate documentary about pedophilia once it was revealed that the clowns family had been involved in a child molestation scandal. She will be showing both of these documentaries. The first one is called "Just a Clown" and is the story of Silly Billy. Paige lets it slip that she lives in the same town as this man. Paige is losing control of the crowd. Apparently she thinks this is the greatest speech ever, it is not, it is confusing and disturbing. I give up, no more updates until the actual movie because this speech sucks. 

10:13-Ok, one more, Paige discussed how Silly Billy became Dr. Blood, a darker more mature clown. Ari interrupts to ask if she means stripper. One point for Ari.

10:14-Just a Clown begins. 

10:15-Paige lets it slip that she and Nicky went to Louis Kahns death place together before we went. Yelling, so much yelling. I feel betrayed.

10:16-The remote isn't working. Nicky decides she knows the answer. This NEVER ends well, but we'll humor her. Oh wow...she actually did help. She's going to hold this over our head for years

10:17-Just a Clown actually begins

10:18-The movie begins with David Friedman teaching someone to be a clown. We hear his voice before we actually see him. The instructions on how to blow up a balloon is strangely similar to other...acts. You know what I'm talking about. I might have to bail early on this blog if this movie gets too inappropriate. 

10:20-He's a clown to the millionaires

10:21-They're interviewing other clowns. Drew is laughing like a 5 year old at a birthday party. He is easily amused

10:22-These kids are dressed funny. I spot one in khaki shorts and a light blue oxford shirt with loafers. I want my kid to look exactly like him. The cake at this party is HUGE. Why wasn't I a rich kid? OMP! I'm looking at you!

10:23-A woman is discussing her sons party favor bags that she spent 6-8 months making. Now I wish I had rich friends as well.

10:24-We meet a clown called Marsha the Musical Moose. She's just phoning it in with that schtick

10:25-cut to Marsha just sitting in a field eating flowers. Realllllly phoning it in

10:27-I didn't really follow what just happened, but I think we just saw quarrelling lovers of Silly Billy

10:29-It's effing cold in this room. That's not a figurative statement to describe the movie, I mean it is cold and I am shivering.

10:31-Ari comes up with the greatest idea ever of inviting Silly Billy to May Day

10:32-Now we meet Dr. Blood, the mature clown......stay tuned...

10:33-HO-LY....CRAP! This would traumatize me for life! He's running around the room threatening to chop off fingers and heads. Kids are running and hiding. How can I get a career as a completely traumatizing childrens entertainment character. 

10:34-End of movie? Now we're going to learn about his messed up family...

10:35-Paige sets up Capturing the Friedmans about Davids brother and father who have been convicted of pedophilia. This is going to be far less enjoyable than the first film

10:36-We meet Jesse and Arnold, the brother and father respectively. Apparently the family loved making home movies

10:38-After seeing Revolutionary Road earlier this week, Nicky deems this the week of "reasons you shouldn't get married"

10:39-Lets set the stage. David is the oldest son, Seth is the middle and the "rebel", Jesse is the youngest and "always trying to catch up"

10:40-Apparently Arnold, the father, used to play in a band up at the hotels in that abandoned town my family and I went to on vacation a few years ago. Good story for another day

10:41-The mother doesn't like to talk about the father

10:42-David makes video diaries that are supposed to be private. He asks that if we aren't him to please turn it off. Megan wonders whether this is a trick and whether we should obey him and turn it off. Turns out David made video diaries to document his emotions while his brother and father were on trial. Bad idea, the police are going to want to see those tapes eventually.

10:47-Arnolds wife claims that child porn was a form of meditation for him. Awk.

10:51-Apparently when Arnold was arrested David came home dressed in his clown costume. 

10:55-A search of Facebook for "Capturing the Friedmans" brings up a Facebook group called "Weird Wednesday" at Illinois State University. Here a group of people watch "weird and upsetting movies every Wednesday night". That sounds eeirily familiar to what we do. We decide that this is a good thing, if state schools are doing it that must mean it's cool

11:09-Things just aren't adding up here. The kids stories just...aren't adding up.

11:15-Awkward, David decided to record the family while his father was under house arrest. 

11:16-Just awkward. Family, if anyone gets arrested for anything and is placed on house arrest I am banning you from making any form of audio or video recording. I reserve the right to blog if the crime is particularly hilarious though.

11:19-Apparently the original idea is that this whole thing would last a year and then they could look back and laugh at how ridiculous it was. Whoops.

11:20-David believes his parents only had relations 3 times,  each in order to create their children. Davids mother is interviewed and proves him wrong. 

11:28-FAMILY HOUSE ARREST DANCE PARTY! (Note to my own family, these will TOTALLY be allowed if one of us is placed on house arrest)

11:29-House arrest balloon animals will also be allowed.

11:30-The sons and the father were best friends. The mother was skeptical of the whole situation and really didn't trust any of her family. 

11:33-The mother just referred to his sons view of their father as "one of a Santa Claus Messiah"

11:40-I can't even begin to explain the court proceedings and the chuckfuck that they are so I'm not even going to try

11:41-The effing family even made movies the night before Arnold went to prison. Them playing music and dancing around. Crazys

12:01-Peter Panaro is a terrible lawyer. Do not hire him to defend you. He suggests the son admit to sexually abusing children, even though there is no evidence against him. Good move, Sherlock.

12:06-Creepy cat shot. Jeez this movie's long

12:08-I'll say it again. Peter Panaro is a TERRIBLE lawyer

12:09-Panaro is confused as to why his plan backfired. 

12:10-IDIOTS! This kid is being sentenced for child abuse and they're out on the lawn of the courthouse making movies of them dancing and screwing around. IDIOTS!

12:12-Wow, the eighties, you could film and take pictures inside federal buildings for personal use. How times have changed

12:14-Arnold did not die of a heart attack as David had previously said. He overdosed on anti-depressents in jail. How you're able to do that, I don't know, I know nothing about jail but I'm pretty sure it's hard to get your hands on a ton of anti-depressents.

12:19-Epilogue: David is confused as to how this did not turn out the way he planned. Really? Really? Filming your brother and father as they prepared for their child molestation trial DIDN'T WORK OUT IN YOUR FAVOR? Amazing. Fancy that.

12:20-The mother remarried and moved far away from any of her family members. GOOD FOR HER. The poor woman.

12:21-Jesse is released from prison into Davids arms. Elaine (apparently thats the mothers name) gets a hotel room to see her son for the first time. Good plan, don't let him know where you live. 

12:21-post movie discussion. Our conclusion? Don't hire Peter Panaro as your lawyer.

Documentary Night! Finals Edition!

Finals don't stop us from holding docu-night! A quick update, my thesis is excruciatingly close to being done. I'm running out of time and all that's left are the details that if I don't fix them they'll haunt me for the rest of my life. I just can't let it go. I'm turning it in tomorrow and there might be some post-partum depression. That will be taken care of by some post-partum drinkin'!!

Anyway, small numbers tonight, but we were still able to crank out a documentary night. As always, here's what happened.

Tonight's feature is American Teen, a movie that follows high schoolers around during their senior year of high school...because that's never been done before. Some things you should know before we begin: I enjoyed high school, Nicky hated high school, Ari and Paige fall somewhere in between. 

11:00-Starting late this week. Paige just hurt herself, that was funny

11:08-Paige isn't ready, she blames finals....then admits she was just watching Watch Instantly on Netflix all week. We will be watching American Teen, a movie about 4 teenagers in Indiana. We have obtained this DVD through completely legal means. Don't ask questions.

11:09-

Ari: Who wants to get drunk tomorrow night 

Nicky: I would love to...but I don't know about the aphids

11:10-one minute in and the passive aggressive bitterness has already started

11:11-Paige: there is one really attractive guy in this film.

-People Paige also finds attractive: Ben Kingsley, the Pregnant Man

11:13-ok, the kid Paige thinks is cute is actually cute

11:15-Aw, the basketball guy is cute...in a Michael Phelps way

11:18-Nerd guy: I play video games because then you always get the girl in them

11:19-Ari: That's a lie...we've watched a whole movie on this subject...it's INCREDIBLY hard to get the girl!

11:20-and the mandatory crazy old lady appearance

11:24-OH SNAP! Girls boyfriend broke up with him. So she calls her gay best friend. 

11:26-Ohhhh the awkwardness!

11:37-Nicky: And THATS why you don't send naked pictures to people

11:39-Aw basketball boy's dad is an Elvis impersonator that performs for weddings

11:43-Oh jeez, basketball boy has a bad game and now he's all upset. I can't handle this.

11:46-

Ari: Fun fact, my high school is the most filmed high school in the country 

Paige: Fun fact, my high school had no walls 

Nicky: Fun fact, Elliot Fisk, classical guitarist, went to my school 

Me: Fun fact, My high school has 127 million dollars. 

*silence* 

Nicky: Fuck you, Marianna

11:48-And we meet the "marching band stud"

11:50-Ari: This is a really awkward version of Swimfan

11:55-Seriously, do these people not know they're being filmed? 

11:57-"This could have been a felony" hey, you know who else committed a felony? Paige.

11:59-Oh god, another basketball game. I can't take these. AHHHH! 

12:02-The fact that I didn't truly discover alcohol until college makes me angry. High school could have been so much fun drunk. At least that's what these kids are making me think. Apparently you also get the hottie if you're drunk in high school. Mother of!

12:08-Uh oh, popular people

12:10-Nicky: Screw you Marianna! 

We should really stop playing "how does this movie compare to my high school"...but it's too fun to make Nicky angry

12:13-Ari's a douche

12:16-And the bitchy girl gets into Notre Dame. Hooray, being a bitch leads to good things

12:21-Ahhh, awkwardness, awkwardness

12:23-Oh MItch, oh no, don't break up with her via text message, no...DAMMIT!

12:24-oh god, more basketball. My heart can't take it

12:26-Basketball boy scores the winning basket in the sectional (whatever that means). I tear up a little. Paige makes fun of me. Excuse me for having feelings

12:28-Seriously, alcohol in high school is incredible! Why was I not on this bandwagon

12:32-Poorly staged slaps...and a coup is being planned'

12:34-oh lordy, the geeky kid loves taxidermy. Excellent plot twist

12:36-We're (well, I'm) debating whether the grandmother and her friend are lesbian lovers

12:37-oh. Mitch is elected prom king. dammit.

12:39-Paige is laughing at the mentally imbalanced. She, like Ari, is a douche.

12:40-Best four day weekend...ever.

12:41-"As you sit here and take in your final oder of your senior class"-um, great graduation speech?

12:42-Nicky rants about high school, I go for one final dig "I enjoyed high school!" Nicky: You know what! You were allowed outside! FUCK YOU!

12:44-Everyone heads off to college....how sweet

12:45-Paige: Stay seated! There's an epilogue!

12:46-Collin (basketball boy) says he is single and that needs to change. I'm sending in my application. Aw, Mitch, I liked him too, even though he was a jerk, he says he's matured. Hannah's now in NYC, apparently at Paiges old school. Paige should have stayed there, saved us all the embarrassment of being friends with someone who committed a felony.

12:48: Discussion. Nicky: Kinda reminded me of high school except it seemed better than my high school

In the final stretch, let's all get our heads in the game and push on through. I can do this.

Not even finals will keep me away from Documentary Night!

Ohhhhh, Documentary Night, the bright spot in my week of pain. This weeks feature was Murderball, actually suggested by Suzette in the comment section of this blog and then seconded by Megan. Since we could not get Suzette out here, Megan did the honors of introducing it. Also, we had screwed Megan over multiple times by stealing her suggestions, so it was time for us to give her a break. Paige suggested cancelling Doc Night earlier today due to the massive amounts of work that we all have, but we decided that might just be the last straw for Megan's sanity...and we just couldn't deal with that. Plus we were really excited for Murderball. So, without further ado.....Murderball.

10:00-Where's Ari?

10:02-Tonight I will be watching the documentary, blogging about it and writing a paper. Let's go.

10:04-The crowd is sparse, Megan is screwed over again

10:04-ARI ARRIVES! Megan is only slightly screwed over now. I should mention that tonight's feature is Murderball, which follows Quad Rugby, or a rugby league played in specially made wheelchairs for quadriplegics. 

10:05-Megan's introduction: Overall very well put together. Focuses on fun movie facts. She just used the phrase "Ass level view of the world". This movie just got 20 times more interesting. 

10:08-"People seem surprised at what I can do. I can cook, I can drive....I might not be that good a cook...I might not be that good a driver...."

10:10-This looks painful....

10:11-Dammit...this isn't one of those docs that you make fun of. These people aren't crazy....and they can kick my ass.

10:13-Hey-o! World rugby championship. As with all sports, the US is the favorite. U-S-A! U-S-A!

10:14-Joe is angry. Apparently he will be angry for the rest of the movie. He used to be one of the top US rugby players until they cut him because he became too old. He coaches Team Canada now....TRAITOR!

10:16- Oh snap, Canada vs. US in the finals!

10:17-Time for the traditional fight with the people using the non-tv side of the room..this time over tv volume. 

10:19-This is intense...oh snap....I think Canada won...

10:20-Fuck Canada. I hate this movie.

10:21-Ohhhhh Cannnnnadaaaaaa. The US is crying.

10:22-and now we're in a discoteque of sorts...?

10:24-I have a total crush on Andy...if only his hair wasn't bleached blonde

10:25-Oh, I like Scott too (Megan: They're both from Arizona!)

10:28-Joe is having a Super Bowl party....it's getting hostile...

10:31-Joe has a son Robert who he yells at and makes polish his trophies....ohhhh he's going to have issues. Robert also received an award for his exceptional performance as a school safety patrol, but his Dad won't let him put it on the trophy wall because it's not sports related

10:34-Oh. My. God. We are watching a video on how to have sexual relations post spinal cord injury.

10:41-Oh crap, Joe had a heart attack

10:43-He appears to be ok...

10:50-Keith, a recently injured quadriplegic, has beautiful eyes....I'm smitten. Sorry Scott and Andy...

11:01-Joe has a Boston accent, lives in Florida, coaches the Canadian team and, as it was just revealed, immigrated from Portugal. Go figure.

11:02-These wheelchairs they use are hardcore...I can't help but be reminded of Battlebots

11:03-USA prevails over Canada in the Olympic seeding round, they will enter the Olympics as the top team. WHAT WHAT!?!?!?!?

11:05- In a touching moment, Joe makes it to his son's viola recital. 

11:08-Mark visits Keith's rehab place to explain quad rugby to recovering quadriplegics. Keith smiles for the first time. His eyes look glorious. Megan warned me that all of the players are good looking....she was right

11:11-Ari: I wonder if they have some sort of...12 month calendar.....I would buy that. (As opposed to an 11 month calendar?)

11:13-They hid the man with no legs or arms in a box and then called in an able bodied person to help them pick the box up. Epic.

11:17-Zuppan invites the guy who was driving the car that crashed and paralyzed him to the Olympic games. It's a touching moment

11:20-Fuck Canada. The US has been defeated.

11:22-We're dangerously close to Brian's Song level of tears here. They haven't started yet but they're coming. Everyone's hugging and crying...Megan just told me they won gold in  2008, tears have stopped at this good news.

11:23-New Zealand won gold...so that's good, at least Canada didn't win

11:25-They end the movie at Walter E. Reed hospital teaching wheelchair rugby to vets. That was a downer

11:28-Andrea "surprises" us with a surprise documentary. It would have been a better surprise if she didn't e-mail us before hand to tell us. She says if anyone doesn't want to watch a 24 minute movie then they should just leave. I get up and try and get out

11:29-Apparently this has to do with her thesis, protesting AIDS....it covers a protest at St. Patrick's Cathedral that was "redonculous"...her words, not mine.

11:32-I should note that this is the first documentary we've watched that is on a video cassette. I enjoy the grainy quality of the film. 

11:35-Awkward close up on a women with a chipped tooths mouth. That's just mean

11:40-I'm a bit confused, but oh well

11:44-Discussion of next weeks movie.  Ari and I suggest "The OC" a touching story of a boy who fell off the wayward path and the family that put him back on track. It's shot down. 

Did someone say Documentary Night?!?!?!!

Annnnnnnnd we're back! There was a moment of panic this week when we weren't sure if we would be able to get a copy of this weeks dvd on time. Plans were made to switch around dates, people panicked, but in the end everything worked out. Tonight's choice was King of Kong: Fistful of Quarters. It follows two Donkey Kong champions in their quest to beat/defend the world record. I scoffed at first....but it was epic. I now present: King of Kong

10:00-Paige and I move the model of Sputnik to on top of the vending machine. He looks like he's flying, it's very nice. 

10:02-We begin with Thanksgiving Break documentary recaps

10:04- We get distracted talking about the Werner Herzog fan club (oldmanrockefeller.blogspot.com). I want to know if Jefferson Davis would be within the rules of our first prompt "President you'd most like to sleep with". As I chose Reagan as my president and am now asking for a ruling on Jefferson Davis I am immediately booed and called numerous offensive names. I wasn't suggesting that Davis was hot or right...I was just curious if he qualified. 

10:05-Paige discusses some Annie Leibowitz movie. I'm bored already.

10:08-I discuss My Kid Could Paint That and Grosse Pointe Blank. I am yelled at for watching a non-documentary

10:08-Nicky is publicly humiliated for not looking at the documentary night schedule and watching two movies on the docket for upcomming weeks. For crying out loud, there is a clear as day schedule written up.

10:10-Megan is unprepared, she gets an incomplete

10:11-Ari tries my trick, she's not as funny as me so it fails. Drew claims he was preparing for this weeks presentation rather than watching a documentary, we give him a pass.

10:12-Drew gives his presentation. We will be watching King of Kong. Drew's public speaking skills require work. He did prepare a written speech, however, which should be applauded. We should also note that Drew takes a 40 minute train ride every Wednesday just to come to Doc night. It's impressive

10:13-Technical issues. I'm also facing a quickly melting pint of Halo Pub mint cookies and cream ice cream. This was a poor snack choice, I cannot eat all of this.

10:15-We're not skipping the previews for some strange reason. 

10:16-Paige and I just had an arguement. What it was about is unimportant, but I can tell you that Paige won the argument by shouting "THE ROBOT AND THE WOMAN!"

10:18-We meet Billy Mitchell, Donkey Kong Champion, and Steve Wiebe, the challenger

10:20-We discuss how the WWI flying aces relate to video game players

10:21-Apparently your life is on the line when playing these games. Unknown whether this is your video game life or actual life. I think actual life

10:22-Paige's favorite video game is Tetris

10:22-Steve Sanders lies. Remember that. Apparently this made him a better person

10:24-I wikipedia the movie and discover that it's subheading is "A Fistful of Quarters" which is by far the greatest subheading ever. I freak out that no one told me. Drew accepts responsibility and apologizes

10:26-Billy Mitchell has a folk song written about him. Dammit, that was my goal

10:27-Billy Mitchell has recorded a score of over 800,000. Steve Wiebe has just laid the smack down and challenged him. This is the basis of the movie. 

10:28-C Down arrives! What a lovely surprise

10:30-I wish I wasn't so pretty and popular. I would have loved to be a competitive gamer.

10:32-Average gamer will not get past the 3rd stage. Wow. They are mapping this out like football plays. 

10:33-Steve Wiebes wife is a little too good looking for what he does. His mother has had far too much plastic surgery. He likes to play the drums on his sons miniscule drum set. As he drums they are playing flashbacks from his life as a high school sports star. Its intense.

10:34: NO ONE will ever be able to beat his record. That sounds like foreshadowing

10:36-Wiebes kid is going to be in therapy for years

10:37-Oh the world of video game refereeing

10:39-STEVE WIEBE BEATS THE RECORD! He celebrates with a Corona

10:41-This man is apparently a teacher. I'm a bit concerned about the future of our nations youth

10:42-We meet someone named 'Mr Awesome'. He challenges Kevin Bacons father for my favorite person ever

10:43-

Steve: I came home and there were two men in my garage *looks around for impressed people to ask him what was so important in his garage* 

Kid: How did they get into your garage? 

Glad someone has sense

10:45-I took my attention away for a second and when I returned there were naked video games players on the screen. What did I do to deserve this

10:46-Nicky's favorite video game is Kirby's Avalanche...someone is "seeking revenge". I'm worried.

10:47-There is some sort of conspiracy going on and I am concerned...and confused. Apparently Billy has a "master plan" and it's been messed with. This is serious stuff going down here.

10:48-It would appear that Mr. Awesome is the man behind the conspiracy. Apparently Mr. Awesome threatened Bill Mitchells life. Mr. Awesome claims Bill Mitchell threatened his own life...to make it look like Mr. Awesome threatened him? Now Bill Mitchell claims whatever he says is "like the abortion issue" I can't keep up here. 

10:50-They're not accepting Wiebes high score. We've also just learned the word "chumpatizer"

10:50-They're playing the theme song to Karate Kid

10:51-"Very recently I turned 30 and retired"-how do I get this mans job

10:52-Billy is apparently the Ed McMahon of video games. He arrives at old ladies houses and gives them video game machines

10:53-Still rocking out to the Karate Kid song

10:54-The video game referee and Wiebe are getting a little too close for professional situations. 

10:55-A man declares himself a "prodigy". This is the same man that "retired". You cannot be both. OH SNAP! Now he's spying on Wiebe for Billy. LOVE THE DRAMA

10:57-Billy gives his old lady prodigy a package to bring to the video game competition with her. I wonder what she'll answer when airport security asks her if she's carrying any packages for other people. I'm going to have to report her to the FAA

10:59-The Prodigy is FREAKING OUT that Wiebe is about to get to the "kill screen" or for us non-nerds, the end. 

11:01-The Prodigy is still flipping out about the kill screen and all of the nerds are congregating. This is a moment.

11:02-The Prodigy is crying, people are clapping, this is apparently a big deal. They have Billy on the phone...he looks less than pleased. 

11:04-Everyone's in a cabin now. 

11:05-There is a secret tape being shown right now. 

11:06-OH SNAP! The tape shows that Billy had scored a million point game

11:07-"Billy is the closest thing to being a Jedi"

11:10-Nicky-"Steve. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride" uh, yea, something like that.

11:10-OMG Steve's crying. I'm going to cry. DAMN YOU BILLY MITCHELL!

11:14-Mitchell claims he had to beat the score "for the USA"

11:16-Nicky-'HE'S A LEFTY!' mother of....

11:20-Steves daughter- "SOME people ruin their lives trying to get into the Guinness World Record Book". She'll be at Bryn Mawr in no time with that passive aggressiveness

11:24-Billy Mitchell getting out of a shower...not something I needed to see

11:25-We meet Billy's wife...hellloooooo boobies

11:29-Billy is bringing his, uh, well endowed, wife around trying to distract Steve from his game.

11:32-Steve's last chance...this is getting intense....oh no...I think he lost...kill joy

11:33-Oh no, wife is crying. So many tears in this movie. Fuck you Bill Mitchell

11:34-Steve Wiebes name is mispronounced...I feel his pain

11:35-More tears? no. We avoided tears from Billy and his minion

11:36-tears from me

11:37-could it be.....

11:38-It would appear.....

11:39-HE BEAT THE SCORE! WIEBE IS THE NEW CHAMPION! I love epilogues

11:40-Aw man, the old lady died!

11:43-best. documentary. ever.

Murderball next week. We had originally scheduled it for finals week, but Megan, who is presenting it, isn't going to be here then. Megan has gotten screwed over every Doc night...we had to throw her a bone.

Docu Night VI

Tonight's selection was My Architect. My Architect was directed and filmed by Nathaniel Kahn, illegitimate son of architect Louis Kahn. Nathaniel goes on a world wide search to find out more information about the father he barely knew.

What do you need to know before reading? Louis Kahn built a dorm on campus called Erdman. It is widely agreed to be the ugliest on campus (I would actually give that award to Haffner, but that's another story). Ari, until this year, was a lifelong resident of Erd and thus is very territorial about Louis Kahn. And now....My Architect.

10:00-No one has their shit together

10:08-Paige needs a few minutes, we groan

10:11-Everyone's ready, but Ari forgot to set the movie up. This night is doomed to failure

10:13-Ari begins her speech, Drew groans. He's on thin ice. Exact quote: "His first love was architecture, his second love was bitches". 

10:14-Paige brings up Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. We freak out. YES YES YES! Best dinner ever. Ari can't come, we offer her spot to Drew.

10:15-Opening shot: Louis Kahn's son searching for his father's obituary. We learn that it's pronounced "Lew-is" rather than "lou-ie". This is mind blowing. This overrides 4 years of cities classes telling me the opposite.

10:17-Paige and I make a date to visit the bathroom in which Louis Kahn died

10:18-We meet Phillip Johnson. People start making fun of him. As cities majors Ari and I defend his honor. I'm sensing a possible trend for the night.

10:20-I point out the CT rest area where I saw a car on fire

10:21-Erdman makes an appearance

10:22-"In Jewishness, which of course I know nothing about..." best start of a quote ever. 

10:23-"He would visit...often during the middle of the night"-This is the most depressing Father/Son relationship ever

10:24-Andrea just muttered the phrase "Best funeral ever". You make up the context

10:28-Apparently we just missed a good quote. Andrea is angry

10:30-The rabbi (not sure why we're talking to a rabbi) demands no cameras. A camera somehow makes it in. They begin to talk about circumcision. Everyone's uncomfortable

10:32-Apparently Louis Kahn caught on fire when he was a child and his father said it would be better if they let him die. His mother finally manned up and put the fire out and said he would be a better man because of it

10:35-IM Pei is on. Nicky's grandmother apparently worked for IM Pei's father. Considering IM Pei was born in China where his father was director of Bank of China...we're calling BS on this one.

10:37-Ari and I get into a cities major fight over the Salk Institute in La Jolla, CA. It's a piece of crap, Ari disagrees. Ari is wrong.

10:40-Guy: Did you know your father well. 

Nathaniel: I saw him once a week 

Guy: Oh I spent Christmas with him

10:43-Nathaniel Kahn is roller blading around his father's building. He's roughly 40 in this film. He has major daddy issues

10:53-For the upteenth time Nathaniel tells someone "Lou crossed his address out in his passport because he was, uh, going to leave his wife for my mother and come live with us". Someone finally calls him out on it and says, uh, no. There's a scene at 30th St Station, we all have a moment of WE KNOW THAT PLACE

10:55-TRENTON! I do a dance. They're at the JCC bathhouse. I've been there. It's.....not looking too good. The co-architect is less than pleased. Little known fact, it was Louis Kahns favorite building. Score 1 for NJ

10:59-Drew claims the man on TV is Kevin Bacons father. Ari calls BS. We fact check, Drew is right. Nicky is happy that we are now one degree away from Kevin Bacon. We're more than one degree but we let it slide. (Us-Louis Kahn (erdman)-Kevin Bacons Dad-Kevin Bacon)

11:01-Nathaniel: It was a great idea 

Kevin Bacons Dad: NO!

The great idea they were referring to was Kahns vision of having everyone park their cars outside of Philadelphia and walk to the city center. We agree with Mr. Bacon. Bad idea

11:02-Kevin Bacons Dad is my favorite person ever. EVER. Forget Werner Hertzog, forget the guy from Spellbound. Kevin Bacons Dad will never be topped.

11:03-As much as I am against smoking...the idea that people could just light up in the middle of class (as they are doing in the current scene) cracks me up.

11:09-I can't describe the last scene, but it ranks in the top 7 moments of my life. Nathaniel was angry, the captain of the boat they were on was confused

11:10-That last scene has been replaced with the current scene. Nathaniel reveals that he is Louis son, the captain bursts into tears and says that he saw him when he was 6 at the wake. For the record, Nathaniel was 11 at his father's wake. 

11:12-The Mighty Ducks soundtrack appears in the background. Everyone fights me and claims it's the Olympic music. I pull out my iTunes and prove that it's called the Mighty Ducks suite. There's a lot of yelling.

11:15-Nathaniel is now interrogating his mother. It's awkward. They're clearly working out long festering issues with each other

11:20-Nathaniel goes to see the aunts. They reveal that his mother wanted to abort him. The poor guy can't win.

11:29-I should mention that the Sputnik model is still sitting behind the television. Eh, it's not hurting anyone. 

11:30-They're in Jerusalem now. Hilarity ensues. 

11:32-After the 50 millionth reference to Louis Kahn being Jewish I decide it's time to cross the line and ask Paige how she feels, as our Jewish friend, about Louis Kahn and the influence of Judaeism on his life. Her response? "I think we've proven that the Jewish men get the ladies". Megans response: Screw you, Paige

11:35-Megan-This guy doesn't wear glasses...I don't trust him

11:37-It turns out his real last name wasn't Kahn

11:39-Kahn's 3 children meet at "a house outside Philadelphia". It appears that they broke into someone's house as it is fully furnished but no one is there. 

11:40-the two other siblings have mementos of Louis Kahn. Nathaniel has none. This is going to drive him crazy

11:42-Nathaniel: What I've always wondered is...uh...are we a family? 

Sisters: Uhh....well...

11:44-An old woman wearing a flesh colored sweater appears on the screen. I have a minor hear attack because I thought she was nude. Oh, it was Nathaniel's mother. 

11:46-Nathaniel brings up the passport again. He and his mother are deluded

11:52-And we're at that point where I'm losing interest

11:53-Nicky's never had a good kite flying experience. It's always about Nicky

11:55-We're finishing up at that building in India. I hate this building. Always have, always will.

11:56-Ari gets up to be cute with Drew. Paige capitalizes on the opportunity and steals her chair

11:57-This wasn't the building I was thinking of

11:58-Maybe it is.

11:59-AHA! Here it is. I hate this building. The capital of Bangladesh

12:01-Megan farted. 

12:04-A grown man is crying over his love for Louis Kahn...and it isn't Nathaniel Kahn

12:07-Nicky now claims her grandmother worked for Louis Kahns father. I think she's losing it. 

Docu Night V!

Due to poor scheduling, I wrote what is probably my favorite blog entry ever only 2 hours before Docu Night. Now I'm forced to relegate it to the second position so that I stick to schedule. I've been weighing the pros and cons of delaying the posting Docu Night all day.  

Pros-I don't think any of my readers other than Megan and Nicky actually care for Docu Night postings, thus no one would miss them

Cons-If I don't stick to the schedule then I'll feel guilty. And I'm already feeling guilty about too many other missed deadlines. 

Moral of the story? If you haven't read my one act play, please continue on down after you're done with this post. If you have read my one act play, please read it again. You're not getting gold like that for a lonnnnnnng time. Also I apologize for the formatting. I don't know how to fix it.

On to Documentary Night V! Tonight's choice? Spellbound, the 2002 flick that follows 8 contestants in the 1999 Scripps National Spelling Bee. What you should know before reading this? Megan used to do spelling bees. She never made it to the big show. This is quite possibly the most defining failure of her past. It made watching this movie that much more fun.

10:00-Lets go! I give my speech. Quite possibly the best speech ever given at a Doc night. I playfully pretend that we're going to watch the 1945 classic Spellbound starring Gregory Peck. I then make everyone participate in a spelling bee. No one spells correctly, not even Megan, spelling bee extraordinaire.

10:04-Paige announces that her future husband is in the movie. We throw a few pedophile jokes around...even though these people are actually older than us by now.

10:06-It starts with some facts on spelling bees. We all start teasing Megan that she was never good enough to go to the national bee. This teasing will not stop.

10:08-Someone tries to passive agressively take over the tv by standing behind us and calling her friend mentioning that "she's in the common room but Top Chef isn't on the TV even though they reserved the TV room". Nice try, we've reserved it for every Wednesday night

10:10-An old couple comes on TV, hilarious. The room decides that's me and Nicky in 70 years. They're being offensive to Mexicans. Apparently not ALL Mexicans are bums and trannies. 

10:12-There is a teacher on the screen holding without a doubt the LARGEST teddy bear I've ever seen.

10:13-They're at the regional spelling bee right now. Bitter Megan over here, speller 1 I should mention, went to the regional spelling bee in Arizona. She lost. If you can't even win the Phoenix regional spelling bee..that says a lot about you. Megan is clearly having flashbacks to 'nam everytime they ring the bell. This is going to be a long night

10:15-Megan brings up an unfortunate 8th grade spelling moment. I question her and she snaps. 

10:16-I should mention that there is a giant cardboard and tin foil model of sputnik sitting behind the TV. We don't ask questions. 

10:19-They interview the three boys that Nupur (spoiler alert, she wins) beat in the school bee. Three CRAZY nerdy guys standing by a fence. This might be the highlight of my life. I'm pretty sure I saw all of them at Haverford the other day.

10:20-The Hooters restaurant in town puts up a Congratulations sign for their speller. Irony of ironies...they spelled congratulations wrong

10:21-Paiges future husband appears. His names Ted. He looks like a douche. But so is Paige...so it'll clearly be a happy marriage. We decide to Wikipedia him. To our horror we discover that he died in 2007, possible suicide. Oh. Paige is distraught.

10:26-This movie now takes on a whole new tone now that we know Ted committed suicide...one of those "how did we not see this coming" situations.

10:29-We're on the Emily.  She's from Connecticut. She was appalled that her mom didn't invite the Au Pair to the spelling bee, then was so surprised that she actually enjoyed hanging out with her parents. Oh Connecticut. 

10:36-We meet Ashley from Washington. Not too memorable but Wikipedia tells us she had a teen pregnancy but later went to Howard. We all consider making a teen pregnancy joke before deciding against it.

10:39-Now we meet Neil. His Dad has a creepy smile. Neil is very into physical fitness. He's apparently 12, he looks and sounds like he's 40.  He discusses seeing white flashes for a day after the regional bee....he said it was excitement, that sounds like a stroke to me. His house has hypoalergenic trees. That's too cool

10:40-Nicky's laughing at other people's religion. She's been shunned

10:44-Now we have April, she's from Ambler...that's not too far from here

10:46-April likes to ride Roller Coasters and is a vegetarian. Her dad works at a pub, we decide to search it out soon.

10:48-Nowwwwwww here's the star of the movie, Harry from NJ. He's the poster child for ADHD. We all want to be his friend...immediately.

10:53-We're in Washington now. Let's watch them interact

10:54-Alex Cameron, the announcer for the spelling bee, makes an appearance. He is VERY full of himself.

10:55-Nicky and I discover that we have BOTH stayed at the Embassy Suites that the participants are staying at

11:00-Paige want's to know how they knew to follow the girl that's going to win (we cheated and wikipediaed it) I suggest that they rigged the spelling bee. Ted just got out, we're all depressed. I love his family. 

11:01-The word Wheedle has just been given. Megan declares it to be a "classic spelling bee word". One more reference to her former glory days as a spelling champ and I'm going to punch her in the face.

11:02-"Thank YOU Dr. Cameron". I can see that becoming the quote of the night

11:04-Nicky makes fun of the same kid's religion...again. She does not learn.

11:05-Megan made another reference to her glory day and tried to spell the current contestants word. Unfortunately, like the contestant, she spelled the word wrong. Says Paige "HA! Now you both lose!" I decide against punching her in the face due to Paige's comment

11:06-We wonder if any of them ever drop the F-bomb when they lose

11:10-Nicky makes another inappropriate reference to a contestant, different from the last one though. I give up. 

11:13-We meet former contestants. Says Megan of one "He's covered in children!"

11:14-We take this time to razz Megan about how any of these people "could have been her". Wow, what a failure Megan is. 

11:15-Nicky's still talking about the time she spent at the Embassy Suites

11:16-Poor Harry. He's being yelled at to turn towards the microphone. He fails. Megan empathizes with him. 

11:23-The remaining spellers have made it to the ESPN live broadcast. Marking the only time they will EVER be associated with anything sports related. 

11:28-The girl who brought us "Thank You Dr. Cameron" just brought us an over done bow. We've decided she goes to Bryn Mawr, she's just that kind of girl. Tomorrow we will find her.

11:30-They've thrown a new kid into the mix. His name is George and he pronounces his R's funny (I've been there buddy, I feel ya). We're now on the edge of our seats whenever he spells hoping they give him a word with an R in it.

11:32-The girl from CT is finally out. We did not like her. No reason given, we just didn't.  Paige thinks it's because she acts like she's 40

11:33-Nicky notes that one girl is a Lefty. Nicky can tell you the names of every left handed person ever.

11:34-Our favorite is out. She got 4th. Not too bad

11:36-George gets a word, he pronounces it Coodle. I get upset because there are no R's in that word. Turns out the word is Curdle. He gets it wrong.

11:37-Our last view of Ted. We all sigh.

11:38-Dr. Cameron is giving us a speech about the American way. I don't like his tone

11:40-Nupur wins. 

11:41-Nicky: I would like to apologize for my actions tonight.

Next week Ari will be presenting "My Architect" a look into the life of architect Louis Kahn. I will be late, but hopefully will make the second half.