10:02-We all talk about the people making out in the next room thinking that they had left. They hadn't, awkward.
10:04-
Frosh: What are you guys watching?
Us: IT'S DOCUMENTARY NIGHT!
Frosh: Only at Bryn Mawr.
10:05-Where the HELL are Ari and Drew.
10:06-Is Walgreens open 24 hours a day? Argument ensues...I give the final ruling, no, no it is not.
10:08-Ari and Drew finally arrive and are relegated to the window seat once again.
10:09-Nicky gives her speech. We will be watching Brothers Keeper. This is the story of Delbert Ward (full name Adelbert) charged with the murder of his brother William. The two of them plus their two other brothers lived in a tiny dilapidated house in Upstate New York. Fun fact, they were also Nickys neighbors. Let's go!
10:10-Questions? Paige: By being from upstate New York are you more likely to commit murder than we are? Nicky declines to comment and instead continues on with her speech. This is a long speech, she needs to wrap it up.
10:11-Some strange story about outsiders and a car. Also, Nicky's parents know the Wards lawyer. Apparently his son was best friends with Nickys brother. Apparently he goes to Nova now. We yell at her for not inviting him to be a special guest. Can we get this movie going yet?
10:14-We debate the eventual sweatshirts that we are going to get. Should they be professionally done or crafted? What will they say?
10:15-The movie production company is called "Hand-to-mouth" productions. Jokes, lots of jokes.
10:16-Nicky: This movie is very representative of the area I live in, farms and nothing there. Me: Fun story, my family once took a vacation to this area....and yes...it is representative of it
10:17-Lots of cows. Obligatory shot of American flag, now we know that this takes place in true America.
10:18-Excellent early 90's newscaster. Nicky is giddy with excitement over shots of Syracuse news teams
10:21-We can't understand them. Ari asks Nicky to translate the local dialogue. She does so with ease. Paige asks for subtitles, I refuse to let this be subtitled, no one said Doc Night was easy
10:22-This mans pants are wide open. Can we fix that? I should note that the other two brothers are Lyman and Roscoe
10:25-Arguing old married couple, always a golden subplot in any documentary
10:30-Nicky is doing a REALLY good job translating...oh wait, she missed one, failure.
10:35-P-walker stops by. She never stays for Doc Night so I don't want to write anything nice about her. Secretly she's a really cool gal.
10:36-"There was a problem with his foot, a cow stepped on it" Nicky starts chuckling, must be upstate humor
10:37-Nicky: Oneida! That is the only city in Madison County! I took my second drivers test there.
Don't drive with Nicky
10:39-Ah, Nicky's parents friend appears. We all get a little excited...I think...no ones really showing any emotion
10:40-He kind of looks like Shannon's dad....
10:41-
Paige: You should grow a mustache
Drew: I have a mustache!
Paige: Handlebar mustache, sorry, I should have been more clear
10:42-Megan bows out, the illness is just too much. Round of applause for Megan, that was a good try. Meanwhile they're having a potluck on TV. Not gonna lie, this looks like a good lifestyle.
10:45-While people square dance in the background Paige and i have an IM conversation to pick the documentary that I will show this semester. We are sitting right next to each other
10:48-The brothers travel by tractor everywhere, it's really quite cute
10:50-Paige and I are now discussing possible scenarios where we would stick by a member of the group should someone kill another member of the group
10:52-Paige's possible scenario? "Nicky kills a stranger for fun". I crack up, the group thinks I'm cracking up at the movie, apparently it was NOT a funny part of the movie. I'm unable to breathe from laughter so Shannon rationalizes why I would find that part funny. That makes me laugh more. It's a losing battle
10:54-OH SNAP! Homosexual allegations. They brothers are gay? One brother is gay? They are incestuous? I should really pay attention
10:55-"They need to invest in a door" Shannon is captain obvious
10:58-The chicken auction, Nicky claims to go frequently. I think she is being sarcastic, but I'll pretend she isn't. We should all go to the chicken auction
10:59-Paige and I have been found out. Nicky hits me, hard, and yells at me for interrupting her doc night
11:00-Dead cat
11:01-Nicky lays down the law and bans us from IMing each other. Paige turns the tides and rats Elizabeth out for sleeping. This is turning into kindergarten
11:02-Delbert demonstrates how he supposedly killed his brother on his neighbor. Ari: NOT A FUNNY JOKE
11:07-Their lack of hygiene offends Shannon
11:08-C Down: Alright, it's time for Kill, F***, Marry with the surviving Ward Boys.
I apologize for the crudeness, but this is a fun game. Mom, OMP, move onto the next section. I choose to marry Delbert as he is the most complex (Paige's words, not mine) Kill Roscoe, as he is the most sane and thus might turn on me and F*** Lymann as he seems quirky.
11:12-Drew points out that they have midwestern accent. Shannon thinks they are more Irish. Nicky mumbles for awhile about what it could be and we decide that it's just an Upstate NY thing
11:13-C-Down is lying on her avocado. A terrible thing.
11:14-Apparently abandoned school busses are common along the Upstate NY countryside, at least according to Nicky. The Ward brothers have turned theirs into a chicken coop
11:15-Nicky: There are better and more free places to live than Munsville.
I consider asking her what she means by "more free" but let it go.
11:18-Drew can't get over the lawyers statement of 'If God told me that I was going to die, the first person I would kill would be the DA" We've all heard Nicky tell this story so we're not shocked. Drew is flipping out and calling it "the funniest thing we've heard at Doc Night"
11:19-Drew refuses to tell me the first person he'll kill if he was going on a killing spree. While he wants me to believe this is because he's a good person who would never kill anyone, I know that's not the case
11:21-Paige takes the opportunity to try and off Shannon, something she's been trying to do all year. We should not watch any more documentaries about murder, the opportunity for non offensive jokes is very slim
11:23-Paige tells the greatest story but I don't understand it. All I know is that it involves a nephew shooting his uncle in order to avoid charges....everything turned out ok so we're allowed to laugh.
11:24-Moral of the night? Court cases are depressing. Thank God my September goal of going to law school was a short lived goal.
11:26-Paige: I love his entire being
11:27-Shannon: I hope I look better than that when I'm 66
11:30-
Nicky: If your self esteem is low....
Drew: ARGH! I NEED A TRANSLATOR!
Nicky: Oh, sorry, back on topic
11:32-I would be updating you on the movie, but it's really just sad and I'd prefer not to think about it.
11:37-I could have done without the description of what happens when you're asphyxiated. OH JEEZ, I could have also done without the pig slaughtering.
11:38-
Nicky: Aw man, I don't want to watch this.
Drew: I don't want to watch this either!
As opposed to the rest of us who would just LOVE to watch?
11:39-Longest slaughtering of a pig EVER
11:47-Battery running out of the computer. I'm going to have to close this before the movie actually ends
12:00-He was innocent. More importantly, it's midnight which means it is no longer Ash Wednesday so I can start snacking again. Cheerios have never tasted so good.
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