Cab Over Pete With a Reefer On

We're going with Convoy lyrics for titles until I can get the song out of my head. I just tried to incorporate the song into a presentation I did but the sound wouldn't work. Too bad, that was my sole reason for doing a presentation on truck stops and their effect on the growth of the highway system. 

Speaking of highways, it's time for another installment of "Marianna Hates Driving in the Philadelphia Area" Starring our usual friends the Schuylkill Expressway and Shipley Parents.

It's been a long, tough week. Luckily, my Wild Wild West (that's what I like to call the class) professor cancelled class yesterday because "I'm going to be out of town Thursday, so I'll cancel Tuesday as well" (cancel meaning instead of class I will give you a confusing writing assignment to hand in). So I had a long stretch of time in between my 8:30 AM class and my class at Penn, which I had to get the train for at 4:30. I got some work done then took a nap around 2:30. At 3:30  I woke up and realized I needed to take a shower so as not to offend my favorite Penn people. In the shower all I could think about was the walk to the train station, then the walk from 30th Street Station to Penn and how cold it will be with wet hair. "A HA!" I exclaimed (no one was in the bathroom, it's cool) "I will DRIVE myself there". Here's where I began to have an inner dialogue with myself, "Marianna, that's not a good idea. You hate driving into Philadelphia, especially at rush hour. Where will you park? Parking on the street isn't the greatest option and garages are expensive". All very valid points. The fact of the matter is, however, that I love driving. With the right music on and the right traffic patterns it is a very calming and peaceful experience. I was getting excited for that 45 minutes (it shouldn't take that long to go 10 miles...but it always does) of zen, so I decided that the possible traffic and extra money would be worth it. 

I hopped in my car and started down Lancaster Ave. As it was Mardi Gras I allowed myself to stop for McDonalds as it just felt right. After getting my small fries and 89 cent hamburger I realized that I actually don't really like McDonalds, what was I thinking? But now the car smells like McDonalds, and I spent a whole $1.89 for my dinner, so I might as well eat it. Poor decision. I got on 476 and instead of going to the Schuylkill I went toward 95. It's longer, but it saves your sanity. I've always had a love for 95, having spent so much time on it going back and forth between high school, so when given the option I always go 95. As I'm traveling along the traffic that I'm expecting just doesn't appear. This is great! I make it to the airport, still no traffic. How exciting! I seem to have gotten in RIGHT before rush hour. Springsteen's wailing on the radio as I pass the Wachovia Center. The sign for the arena flashes "Bruce Springsteen! April 28th and 29th!" I make a mental note to bug my mom about whether cheapish tickets have appeared yet. I can see that I am approaching the trouble spot, the 24 hour traffic jam that exists right off of the Vine St expressway. Luckily my exit is right before the traffic begins and I'm able to pull onto the expressway. I am golden, but not celebrating yet. I want to make sure I reach Penn with plenty of time to park in a location I am comfortable with. 

Here is where I made my mistake, I started reading the signs. I know how to get to Penn from 95. I've done it plenty of times, I know that you're supposed to stay in the right lane when the expressway splits into 76. I know that. But noooo, I read the sign, saw "West" and said "ah, Penn is in west Philly, I should go west". No, no I should not! I need to go east towards the airport, I know this. I immediately realize my mistake when traffic grinds to a halt and I realize that I'm on the Schuylkill Expressway. A string of curse words that I did not even know I knew emerges from my mouth. I'm dejected that I was so close to a perfect run yet ruined it. 

I pull myself together and decide to turn around at the next exit. That exit turns out to be the zoo and is completely jammed....alright, the exit after that. I manage to sneak off and back on in the other direction with no problem and traffic heading into Philadelphia is far better than the traffic heading out. Things are looking up for me. 

I make it into the city and up to Penn, now I need to park the car. I had decided to park it in a garage that I had used before for one reason and one reason only. It is a garage on Penns campus and if I'm getting jumped on my way to my car I am sure as hell bringing Penn down with me. My level of vengeance towards Penn is really much higher than most peoples, especially on Tuesday nights when I just want to be asleep. The idea that Penn would have it's name slandered in the papers should something happen to me in a darkened garage is oddly comforting. My mother is flipping out right now. Long story short the garage is on the otherside of 38th street and there is a divider in my way, I'm going to have to turn around. As I realize this I simultaniously realize that someone has dug a giant hole in the street. I slow down enough that when I hit it it only feels like I hit a small child, rather than an elephant. I know from experience that my car CANNOT handle those kind of bumps. I freak, but everything seems to be in working order. Every problem I've had in Rigby has been the result of me hitting a giant bump in the road. I really don't want to deal with that again. 

I managed to turn the car around so that I am coming up Walnut St. Here I spot an open meter right outside of my classroom building. I pull in immediately. Excellent, in a well lit area patrolled by security and far less expensive than a garage. I hop out and realize that each quarter is worth 10 minutes. What the hell! For some reason I have enough quarters on hand to get me two hours and ten minutes of parking time. EXACTLY the amount of time that I need. I fish around for another quarter in order to give me a little bit of leeway time, but nope, nothing. Oh well, I'll just have to hope.

I race into class which had already started and manage to get through class without making a fool out of myself or engaging in warfare with my two favorite tools. I briefly considered asking them to be my project partners just for the blogging possibilities but we'll get to that later. 

As time draws to a close I get more and more anxious. I start tapping my feet, checking my phone for the time, the minutes are ticking away and I can just imagine a parking official staring at my car hoping I don't make it back. 7:30 comes and passes, professor is still talking. By the time he's done I race out of there, but my friend Ari wants to stay and make her group. Damn her. I tell her I'll go to my car and circle around the campus until she's ready to come. 

I race to my car and make it with exactly one minute to spare. I jump in and begin my circling. Around once, no Ari, twice, no Ari, as I'm beginning my third loop Ari calls me and tells me she's ready. I maneuver a shady pick up, she hops in and we're ready to go. I ask if all the groups have been made, she says she and her partners were the only ones to settle on a group. Looks like I have a week to decide if the blogging possibilities are worth asking Tool number 3 and 4 to be my partners. They'll probably make me buy a suit for our presentation.

We leisurely make our way back to Bryn Mawr with no problems. On the way we discuss possible things I can give up for Lent. 

Me: I'm thinking sweets, that's always a good go to

Ari: Hm, that's a very broad topic

Me: Or cafe food, it's hurting my wallet and it's not good for me

Ari: Nah, you'll just over compensate by getting lots of Wawa and Campus Corner

Me: Alright then, sweets

Ari: How about just baked goods

Me: I don't eat a lot of baked goods...and I don't think you're allowed to pick and choose like that

Ari: I just thinking giving up candy as well is a bad idea. I don't want it to affect Candy Day on the hall. Have you thought about giving up something different? Like documentary night, or five o clock dinner

Me: That would piss off Nicky more than it would be a challenge to me

Ari: What about giving up a friend? Perhaps Megan? It will be a challenge to you and hilarious for us

Me: Sweets, it's sweets.

Ari: DAMMIT!

We make it back to Bryn Mawr and no parking spaces are showing themselves. I'm tired and don't feel like circling until I can find one so I pull into the Alum House parking lot and say that I'll get up early this morning to move it at 8. "You're going to regret that" Ari warns.

I get up at 7:50 and make it to the parking lot by 8:02. As I approach my car I see Phil the Public Safety guy, who moonlights as Phil my buddy who does the music and play by play for the basketball games, writing me a ticket. I feel so betrayed that I walk towards him with an incredulous look on my face and say "Phil....come on! What the heck! It's 8:02". He looks surprised 

Phil: Oh, Marianna, aw jeez, I didn't know this was your car

Me: That's fine, Phil, just don't give me a ticket

Phil: Aw man, I already wrote it, I can't do that...uhhh, how about I lower the fine from parking in a restricted area to having an out of date parking pass

Me: Aw, Phil....I just....had....I'm moving my car now....aw, fine, that's fine, thanks for that at least.

Phil: It's only 10 dollars now, it would have been 20. Man oh man, I'm so sorry

Now I'm all sad because I've made Phil sad. So both of us are starting our days off on the wrong foot. I nod and tell Phil I understand then sadly walk to my car. I think Phil is more upset that I got a ticket than I am....I don't think I actually have to pay it as my car isn't registered. I'll contact some people who will know the answer to that question. I decide that as long as I'm in my car I might as well go to Wawa and get some coffee. On the way back I find myself in Shipley Parent hell. "WHAT THE HELL!" I yell "Is it 3:00 already?!??!". Little known fact, while the kids leave at 3:00 everyday they have to arrive at some point....that point is 8:00am. Good to know for the future. I cut one parent off just to drive the point home that I don't like them. It's a minor victory in the war against the overprivilleged.