Excitement!

Nicky: Hey, slow down *a reference to my fast walking*! Where's the fire?

Me: Uhh....right there *points to car on fire next to school*

Nicky: Well then. 

Alright, that didn't actually happen, but it almost did. It was more like this

Nicky: Hey! Slow down! Where....oh, I was just going to ask where the fire was, but it's right there

I actually like the real version better. It makes Nicky sound like a horrible person not me. 

I would update more, but it really lowers the chance that my tearful begging will work in getting me extensions for papers. I have visions of me going to a professor, eyes red from lack of sleep, paper simply a sheet of computer paper with the words WHY written over and over again, but yet no sympathy because they just slowly turn around and pull up the blog. This is what I have nightmares about. Winter break can't come soon enough.

I just realized my last entry was on Saturday, which really wasn't that long ago. 

Movies I Watched Over Fall Break and How I Justified Them

1. Once

Plot: Two Irish residents meet, discuss love, play music. One is from Czech Republic, one appeared to be Irish born. Do not end up together. 

Justification: Easy, immigrant in Dublin. Could practically write my thesis. Easily counts as research

Favorite Part: When my mom called downstairs and said it was dinnertime. I wasn't really a fan. Apparently I don't have a soul.

2. Rainbow Gathering

Plot: Documentary about rabbinical students who experiment with LSD and take a road trip to the annual "Rainbow Gathering". Apparently this annual event draws people from all walks of life (including murderers and rapists who are "completely accepted and loved here"). The students set up a kosher kitchen and spread the word of judaism. 

Justification: Easy, it's about different groups of people getting together and cohabiting. I can use it as a model for the current state of Dublin and their mixture of immigrants and religions. 

Favorite Part: The naked guy with the cleverly placed walking stick. Also the fact that I found it on 'ShalomTV' which I didn't even know we had

3. Green Street Hooligans

Plot: Elijah Wood is a pansy and gets kicked out of Harvard. His roommate's cocaine is found in his stuff and he takes the fall, rather than ruin his roommates family's reputation. So he goes to London to live with his sister. Ends up becoming a soccer hooligan. 

Justification: American assimilating to London, almost the same as Eastern Europeans assimilating to Dublin. Explores issues of xenophobia.

Favorite Part: Phone call to Ch'nel 

Me: Oh crap, now he's going to go beat up the Harvard kid

Ch'nel: He wouldn't have had this problem if he had just gone to Princeton

4. The Final Season

Plot: Small town Iowa high school to merge with neighboring school. Their baseball team has won 20 championships, yet will no longer play under the name "Norway High". Sean Astin leads a team of bright eyed youngsters to their final championship. Everyone who has ever lived in the town attends the final game.

Justification: Come on, it's break, I get one mindless Disney sports movie

Favorite Part: The character Sammy, who openly hated his team. I think this is the first instance of a single character in a Disney sports movie just completely doing a horrible job and vocally hating everyone. Everyone hated him back. Even the bat boy would spit at him. Hilarious!

Happy Birthday to Me.

I weighed the pros and cons of writing a birthday entry. It seems so tacky. But then again, I am the person who has a blog solely so that she can talk about how great her life is. That's pretty tacky in itself. A birthday entry is almost required. 

Well if you insist.

I picked up my beautiful cake on Wednesday around 3. 3 is basically the latest you can leave the area and not get caught in rush hour traffic. With a 50 minute ride home, I always aim to be in my front door by 4. After that all hell breaks loose. That is, if hell hasn't already broken loose. I get on the highway by 3:10 and am immediately met with traffic. I saw some road work signs and assumed everything would pass quickly. After a half hour of inching down 476 and realizing that it isn't going to get better I turn on the radio to see if I can get any more news. Apparently a tractor trailer had crashed right at the entrance to the PA Turnpike. Oh that's so not clearing up any time soon. So I pull off at the Conshohocken/Norristown/whatever suburban wasteland exit and attempt a turn around. They've thought ahead for people doing this and make you complete a series of turnarounds, stoplights, trivia questions and dizzy bat derbies before you reach southbound 476 again. I should mention that I stopped at Wawa and got a medium sized Diet Coke for the ride. Remember that, that's crucial information. Now heading southbound, I (safely) jet my way down to 95. This move is risky. It's going to add a fairly good portion of time to my trip and could end in traffic hell, but it was clear that my usual option was not an option today. Any sign of a slow down gets me panicking. Somehow I make it to 95, things slow down a little by the airport, I realize that drinking a diet coke before the ride was a bad idea. Panic sets in. Things speed up. Hooray. We're gonna make it. If I can just get out of the Philly metropolitan area I can pull off at a Dunken Donuts. We're quickly approaching 4 o clock here and people are starting to sneak out of work. Almost. Home. Free. When...BALLS! I forgot about the permanent 24/7 traffic jam near the Vine St expressway. Stopped. After inching my way through about a mile of traffic, stuck behind a Poland Spring delivery truck (NOT HELPING MY SITUATION!) it begins to ease up. I have a specific Dunken Donuts in mind that i am aiming for. Perhaps I know where all possible Dunken Donuts on the way home from school are, don't judge me. After going through a series of false alarm traffic jams I spot my pull off. Race into the DD, take care of things, and get myself an iced coffee. 1. I don't learn from my mistakes 2. I have guilt issues and hate using fast food places without purchasing something. They way the counter people look at you, as if you just stole their puppy. After this I was home free and stumbled into my house at 6 PM. Yes. I left BMC at 3. I hate my life. HOWEVER! Now my birthday could begin! 

Mom made dinner and we decided to not even wait until my actual birthday to have cake. Best decision we could ever make. Sweet, sweet, delicious Bakery House cake. We then all retreated to our separate areas to watch the Phillies. Mom and Dad have the plague and think it's best if they avoid each other so as to not make each other sicker. Instead of consolidating the plague, they are simply bringing it to every part of the house so that it's pretty much a given that in two days, I will be dying. Thanks. Thanks guys. I love the Phillies this year. Having a major problem that the Phils might meet the Sox in the series, which would be both the best and worst thing ever. But since the Sox weren't playing tonight, I could root for the Phils. They looked great. I missed the end of the game though because I went into Princeton at 11 to meet Ch'nel and head to our favorite bar, the Ivy. Perfect place to ring in a birthday, ahahah. It was as if summer never ended. We walked in and all of our favorite summer characters...still there. Karaoke blasting, JL Ivy guy wandering around, Lauren's cousin doing bad karaoke, life was good. When word spread that the Phillies had won I knew that this was going to be a good birthday and it had only just started. 

My actual birthday was lovely and relaxing. I watched some Office, then went into the office. See, I made a pun. Everyone was all well and good there. Demanding to know where my cake was. Apparently some people assume that I want to share my cake. That's funny. They in turn gave me the best birthday present, 4 hours of them listening to me talk about myself. That's all I ask for in life. 

I then met my mom for some mother daughter pampering. Afterwards OMP met us for delicious, delicious dinner. The restaurant advertised the "best pork chop on the planet"...it was pretty damn good. We noticed at the bar that the Red Sox were losing pretty badly. Oh well, at least I won't have to worry about splitting my love for the Phils and the Sox. So I thought. Laying around at about 11:30 I notice one of my friends put up an away message that simply said "GET IT TOGETHER RAYS!" wait....that means...I check ESPN.com and see that the Sox have tied it up. I race downstairs to turn on the tv and watch the final inning. I pump my fist into the air as JD Drew hits it to the outfield and the Sox win. These are the Red Sox I root for. I take a moment for some contemplation. I can't root against the Sox, I can't do it. But I really. really. want a parade for Philly. I might have a problem. 

A Bakery House Cake is Worth the Humiliation

Let me take a moment to plug the best bakery on the Main Line, the Bakery House. Absolutely fantastic cakes and muffins. Since my birthday is at the end of the week, I decided to order a cake from there to bring home with me. Before I can reach my buttercream heaven, I had to endure this awkward moment with the baker

Me: Hi, I want to order a cake

Baker: Great, what should it say

Me: Happy Birthday Marianna

Baker: Alright, and your name is?

Me: Er, well....I'm Marianna

Baker: *snort* *snicker* oh...um....right then and your last name?

Judge me all you want for the fact that I don't have friends. We'll see who's laughing come Thursday when I'm in cake heaven.

Also, link of the week. This one was sent in by OMP of Lawrenceville, NJ

OMP writes

Marianna, 

Huge fan of your work, especially your dishwasher unloading abilities, just wish you were a little better at recycling. I found this link amusing and thought it might be good for your weekly feature. Get back to work. Be good, be smart, be careful. Make sure you meet the high expectations for which we have set forth for you.

-OMP

Let's just say this link involves a-Ha

I have a feeling this weekly feature will have a lot of OMP submissions

Thoughts on fall break, part I

Fall break began yesterday. For most people. I chose to begin mine on Wednesday afternoon. Don't worry, don't worry, I didn't cut any classes, certain classes were just conveniently cancelled. I'm heading back to school tomorrow to work on my thesis, as the past 3 days have proven that being home means I get nothing done. 

Example?

I went to the library on Thursday to do work. I forget it's Yom Kippor and instead spend the entire 2 hours I was there freaking out about the middle school aged kids pacing the stacks. Apparently when kids don't have school, but are too old for babysitters, their parents just drop them off at the library all day. Since kids these days don't read, they simply pace for hours upon end. Up and down the library. Occasionally they sit down. Directly behind me. And stare at me for awhile. Then they get up, start pacing again. I was legitimitely terrified. So I left and went into Princeton, telling myself I would stop by the office to say hi, then go get work done at one of the coffee shops in town. It probably would have helped if I had remembered to bring my books with me. 

Friday. 

I actually got a fair amount of reading done. I discovered a good technique, sit on the sofa and read aloud to the dogs. Not only did the verbal recitation help me remember, but the dogs fell instantly asleep, granting me 2 hours of pure quiet. I managed to get a good four hours of work done this day, then I started to go a bit stir crazy. I decided a trip to the office for some storytime would calm me down. But no staying longer than an hour! Cut to 5 pm when I find myself in the Ichan Building setting up a PA system. 

Saturday.

Now I was banned this summer from writing about work. So the next few sentences will be very vague so as to not anger people. I wasn't going to do any thesis work today. I had come home knowing full well that on Saturday I would be working an event for the office. I did not know that this event would begin at 7:00am and go until 7:00pm. Yes. I took a "break" from writing my thesis to work a 12 hour work-day. Don't judge me on my decisions, they've worked out great for me in the past. Anyway, memorable moments that won't get me in trouble?

-Kaliente burrito. yummmm.

-7 year old child pointing at picture of building: Hey, is that the building in Mexico? It's    a restaurant or something

  Me: *incredulous* uhh...yea...it is. They're having a conference about the architect today....

  Child: Whatever, have you seen my brother? We're playing hide and seek

Effing Princeton children, too smart for their own good. 

-Everyone.Rides. Bikes.Everywhere. In the one month that I've been gone, everyone has started riding bikes. Now when I drive down Nassau I have to look out for absent minded professors who don't use cross-walks and asshole hippies taking up the middle of the two-lane road with their bikes. 

-Engineering professor: Ah! So you must be Peter's wife!

  Me: Nope, nope, definitely not. 

And now a word from our readers

In this new hopefully weekly feature, I will post a link sent in by one of my readers. 

Andrew D. of Princeton, NJ sent in this link this afternoon. 

Says Andrew:

Hi Marianna,

Long time reader. Huge fan of all of your work. You're also my favorite summer staff worker ever. I think you're really cool. I'm sorry I refused to talk to you for two straight years. Anyway, I found this link the other day and was wondering if you could post it to your blog. I would love to see it start some quality discussion. 

Thanks!

Dudders

Andrew's favorite story

Thanks for writing in Andrew! 

Seriously though, this could be a fun new feature. Send me funny stories and let's make fun of them. 

Dear Delaware Students

I find it hard to believe that ALL of you are best friends with Joe Biden. If you're allowed to pull that "Native Son" crap, then I'm totally BFF with Bruce Springsteen. Which totally trumps Joe Biden.  

Thanks for trying. 

-Me

We had a big debate watching party last night in the campus center. I get nervous when large groups of Mawrtyrs gather, there are too many wild-cards in the student population that could go crazy at any time. Plus politics get people all riled up. This had all the makings of a "well that was a horrible decision" story. So of course MSNBC decided to come along and film it. This led to the high comedy of everyone messing up and calling Luke Russert "Luke Wilson". Background: while I was abroad, rumor has it Luke Wilson filmed a movie on campus. Apparently a big deal. I wouldn't know, all the fun stuff happens after I leave campus. Anyway, I enjoyed watching the poor kid cringe every time someone messed up and called him Luke Wilson. We also decided that he could totally pass as a Haver-boy, most likely a soccer playing one. Apparently there was a debate going on as well? Anyway, the original point of this entry. Every student from Delaware that I've met has shared with me how they are personally best friends with Joe Biden. All of them use the word "friend". Not "I've met him" or "He lives near me" but all actually consider themselves to have a friendly relationship with him. Now Delaware is a small state, and I imagine that some probably have worked for him, or live near him, however I find it hard to believe that Biden is friends with ALL of Delaware. So until some of you admit that your relationship is actually based off of a handshake at a car dealership one Sunday morning, I'm going to go hang out with my biffles Bruce Springsteen and Jon Stewart.