A few weeks ago I got an e-mail from a friend asking me if I would participate in Dorm Olympics. They were going to be holding an event called "Pie Your HA" and as an HA I was expected to participate and be pied. I agreed and asked how points would be assigned in that event, no reply. Dorm Olympics are never really well attended, people usually have better things to do...like stare at walls or walk around aimlessly complaining about the mud. I had no intentions of showing up before or staying after being pied, not when there was mud and cracked sidewalks to be complained about.
As I got more and more emails about the olympics I began to get slightly excited. They seemed like a great opportunity to be praised. I decided to check them out for myself around 1 o clock today, an hour before my own event was to begin. I showed up at the front steps of the Campus Center and announced to no one in particular that I was there to Dorm Olympic. No one responded so I tried again. This time someone told me that I could either go to dodgeball, Guitar Hero or sudoku. I'm terrible at Guitar Hero and wasn't in the mood for dodgeball, so I went inside to do some sudoku. The energy in the room could best be described as an energy similar to taking the SATs. People were hunched over their papers scribbling away. I grabbed a paper and began to fill it out. I had limited time so I was pretty proud of how much I accomplished. Unfortunately, people easily beat me having had the full five minutes to finish it. I was sure that I had the next round in the bag, however. I grabbed my next sheet and went to work. When the five minutes ended I had about 3/4ths of it filled out. Since no one had shouted out that they were done I assumed that I would be crowned the victor. Nope, over on the other side of the room the representatives from Merion dorm had each filled theirs out perfectly. They got a lot of points. I was determined to shut them up on the next round. Unfortunately that one went to hell and I could barely get any. Merion again beasted. After that we switched to Boggle, which I am awesome at. But of course, Merion was better. Effing nerds that live in Merion. I swear they spend all of their time practicing for this.
By that point it was 2 o clock and I needed to get pied. I went outside and was handed a poncho. A few other HA's and I drew bullseyes on them and started to stir up excitement. Pie tins were filled with whipped cream and it was time to go. The points system was still ambiguous, but we let it go. We were assured that as HA's we had already secured three extra points for our dorm, so we were all pumped about that. The first HA went up and got a pie to her shoulder and torso. Whipped cream splattered on her face and we all laughed. Isn't this hilarious. My turn was next I set myself up and started heckling the throwers. I closed my eyes and realized "CRAP! If this thing hits me in the face it's going to hurt!" Luckily the first thrower only hit my shoulder. Ha. Everyone at this school throws like a girl! The next tosser came up and I again closed my eyes and relaxed. Then in a flash, SPLAT! Straight shot right to the face. The green exploded in shouts of "OHHHHHHHH!" I was covered in whipped cream and gunk. The whipped cream was seeping into my hair and already drying on my face in the sun. I couldn't even open my eyes. It was awesome. All around me people began applauding and telling me what a good sport I was. Is that praise? Awesome.
At the end of that event I was told that at the next table over the watermelon eating contest was about to begin. I forgot all about the stomach distress I had been in two days prior and eagerly ran over there. I was running on adrenaline by now. After everyone got situated we dove in face first and devoured our slabs of watermelon. I came in third in the event, quite possibly the award that I am the most proud of as I was up against the rugby team who take no prisoners in any form of competition be it rugby or a game of go fish. I turned to Angie, the organizer, whipped cream smeared in my hair and watermelon all over my face and asked 'What's next!?!?! What's next?!?!?!" I was like a kid at Chuckie Cheese. Angie looked taken aback and said that the next event wouldn't be for a half hour and would be the tug-o-war. I looked at my shoes and realized they wouldn't be great for tug-o-war, so I told her I was going to change them and that I would be back. She laughed and said 'Alright, you go do that' I could tell she thought I was insane, but I don't care I was loving it. The sun was out, there was friendly competition, I had whipped cream in my hair. Life was good.
I raced down Rock 3rd and started banging on doors to try and get people to come out to Olympics. Nicky practically bit my head off, yelling that she had to write her thesis. Ari was pissed that I didn't tell her that there was going to be an event where she could throw a pie at me. Nevermind the fact that I sent an e-mail to the hall earlier in the week. Drew was excited, but I told him he was not actually allowed to participate which made him sad. I switched my pants and shoes and ran back out to the green. A rather heated capture the flag game was going down but otherwise things were taking a break. I did the wander around thing, trying to look cool but really making sure that no one started a tug-o-war without me. I am that lame. Once I get my mind wrapped around something I can't stop.
The tug-o-war started eventually and was unfortunately marred by a rather serious injury. Don't wrapped the rope around your waist if you're not at the end, people, it ended poorly for one of the other competitors. After that unfortunate incident everyone sort of milled about looking guilty as if we had all somehow planned to injure someone. It was suggested that we move inside for a game of charades, next on the docket. Once inside, however, no one could think of a way to assign a points system to charades so instead we just played Taboo. Here my partner Kendra and I BEASTED everyone else. There was no contest. We were incredible. We were the Usain Bolts of the competition. We did a "this doesn't count for us" round and STILL beat everyone. Nicky had joined us by this point and was starting to campaign for us to get ready to go to dinner. Not before the water balloon toss Nicky!
The water balloon toss was an epic fail for me. Two rounds and both times Nicky and I were the second people out. Oh well. I played a "this doesn't count" round with another girl and had the water balloon explode on me, that was when I knew Dorm Olympics had come to an end.
Before we could leave, however, we had to go to the awards ceremony. A really pathetic gathering of the 8 people left in the corner of the Campus Center. Here is where the praise was handed out. Somehow I managed to gather 7 medals. I don't remember participating in 7 events, but I was told that i not only participated but EXCELLED in 7 different events. As quite possibly the only member of Rockefeller dorm that participated (save for two frosh who played Guitar Hero) I managed to get us a second place finish. After collecting my 7 medals we were informed that there were Chocotacos in the cooler next to us, leading to a massive hog pile of people grabbing for Chocotacos (background: they used to give us Chocotacos in the dining hall before we became poor. Now they are rarely brought out on super special occasions). They truly are the greatest ice cream novelty.
Nicky and I walked back to Rock, my medals clanging with every step. My arms full of ice cream novelties, as I was told to "take as many as I'd like". I held my head up high and smiled as if I had just won gold in Beijing. Nicky laughed "It's really not hard to please you, is it?", she wondered. I shook my head "No, it really isn't. Just tell me I did something well and I'll be happy" I replied. Nicky quietly nodded before saying "Seriously, take a shower, your hair smells awful".
And yes, before you ask, I am fully aware that if I went anywhere other than Bryn Mawr I would be beat up in a second. I find joy in the little things in life....most find it endearing.
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