Shameless Plug

It's senior week at Bryn Mawr right now, a full recap will come on Friday, but right now I need to make a shameless plug to all of you creepy Bryn Mawr seniors that I KNOW read this blog. Vote for me for class notes editor. Paige and Nicky nominated me as punishment for going home one night instead of going to senior cocktails. As much as I like to be modest and pretend that I'm embarrassed by this nomination....come on, I'm the person who wrote an entire blog bragging that I won 7 medals at dorm olympics. I can't even lie, I would LOVE to be class notes editor. It combines everything I love in life, attention, praise and attention. Also a little bit of gossip and writing thrown in there. 

Here are my official promises to you, the glorious class of 2009, if you make me your class notes editor. 

• Unlike the class of '83s class notes, ours will be funny
• While not nearly as scandalous as the class of '59s notes, all scandalous stories will be put first in the column 
• I promise to not only write  about myself
• Every column will end with a running total of how many people Paige "Music Box Killer" Safyer has killed. 
• I will create a cuteness scale with which I will rate all new baby photos sent in so that we can have a definite answer as to who has the cutest baby in the class
• Every column will contain one lie. If you write in to me and are the first to guess correctly then the next columns lie will be about you
• If its a slow news period I will use the column to insult the other classes and challenge them to rivalries to be settled at reunions (Class of '63, you're up first)
• It will be like a semi-annual published blog devoted solely to the Class of 2009, and who wouldn't want to read that!
• I promise that if elected I will finally succumb to my professors wishes and learn the difference between its and it's. I might even learn how to spell. Hell I might even learn how to properly use commas. 

What are my qualifications?

• This blog.
• I have read class notes from various colleges, universities and prep schools since I was able to read. I may have even learned to read by reading these notes. The amount of alumni magazines that we get at our house is mind blowing. We get magazines for schools that no one in the house even went to. I know how these things work.
• mariannasadventures.blogspot.com (which I reread the other day and realized that it was an INFINITELY better blog than this one)
• I write a semi-annual newsletter for my summer job. Examples available upon request. 
• Again, if you are a senior reading this blog it's because you enjoy my work. Let me write about you!

It's going to be a heated battle in which I am up against a bunch of my friends. This makes me angry. I have been approached twice about running on a joint ticket and have declined. I work alone. I am funnier than my friends, it's just a fact. They might be "better writers" who are able to "spell" and "use commas correctly" but come on, they're boring! It's a proven fact, if your writer is boring then no one will send in class notes. They've done studies on this. If your writer is fun and exciting, everyone's going to want to send notes in. Again, they've done studies on this. At...some...place. But it's a proven fact. 

Best of luck to my competitors, however I intend to approach this competition with the same intensity that I approached the dorm olympics. I'm not sure if you remember, but I walked away from that one with not one, but seven medals. I go balls to the wall when random competitions of minor importance come up, and to quote Michael Scott "Our balls are in your court". Game on.