Link of the Week

Nicky and I stumbled upon this today while trying to find Halloween costumes

Nicky: "Does that say....omg, is it really called that?"

Phinally

What's really sad about the World Series celebrations being over is that we can no longer replace every f with a PH. Since this is the last day that is socially acceptable, I will be replacing all F's with PH's in this blog. This will also make me more aware of my F usage, which I don't think is nearly high enough. Or should I say enouPH? No, that's stretching it.

Anyway! Today was the Phillies parade. WOOOO! I was so excited. This is the sole reason I wanted the Phils to take it all. I distinctly remember the day I cut school phor a phew days and went up to Boston with my mom to see the 2004 World Series parade. I remember it so well that I have ophten said it was the highlight of my liphe. It was that good. Naturally, I was pumped at the idea to relive the greatest day ever. 

My phriend Jane and I decided to be in the city by 10 am for the parade. We naively assumed that all trains would be running on schedule and that there would be no problems whatsoever. We arrived at the train station at 9:15 and discovered it was packed. Not only that, but the trains were phlying by. No one was stopping because they were too phull. We hightailed it up to the R100 station to catch the trolly into town. Significantly longer journey, but I'm pretty sure we would never get in on the R5. The phirst trolly sped right by us, completely packed. We panicked. I was getting bummed, I was pretty sure I wasn't going to get to see my parade. Luckily another trolly came in the opposite direction but told us it was going to turn around and take us into the city. Thanks SEPTA! So not only did a trolly come, but I was able to sit down because we were the phirst people on. Aphter about 3 stops it philled up and we sped right past some really sad and bitter people straight into 69th st. There we had to switch onto another trolly (the R100 isn't really a trolly...I guess it's just another kind of train) and head downtown. We got ophph at 15th street and were going to walk down the route but we couldn't get too phar. We ended up parking ourselves around 16th and Market. I prepher to repher to this section as the "Bad Parenting Section". Everyone in our section was either yelling at their kid, or completely spoiling their kid. The guy behind me was openly cursing at his poor son who just wanted to move to the side a little so that he could see. The mother in phront of my had set our a chair and a giant stroller and was blocking anyone phrom getting anywhere near the street. The worst was the grandmother (who was younger than my own mother) behind me. She had the thickest stereotypical hick accent I've ever heard. She kept ranting about how she had claimed her space over an hour ago but everyone kept coming into her space. Umm, I'm not sure about you, but I'm pretty sure "your space" is whatever your body takes up. Granted, this lady was taking up a large amount of space. Meanwhile, her poor grandkids couldn't see a thing, but she rephused to move, claiming "everyone in her space" should move out of their way. Very annoying. The parade phinally got going and what a parade it was. I got to see my boy Cole Hamels, mega hottie. Plus some others like Jayson Werth and Jamie Moyer. I was a bit disappointed with how they jammed everyone into about phour semi-trucks and thus it was hard to pick people out between them and their phamily members. They also couldn't move phreely phrom side to side, so I missed a lot of my phavorites like Jimmy Rollins and Chase Utley. 

The parade itselph was pretty short. It ended very abruptly. Well, no, bephore and aphter the players there was a large showing of the Philly Police. Let's just say when there are more police than players in your parade, it's a bit bothersome. Aphter everything had ended we were stuck. It took us a good 15 minutes to get up the block to an intersection, then another 15 minutes to walk up to 30th St Station. The idea was that Jane could go to her job up at UPenn and I could catch the R5 back to Bryn Mawr. We got some McDonalds (nearly died doing so with all of the people crushing in there) then said our goodbyes. I made my way to the platphorm and was about to get on the escalator up when someone cried 'Don't do it! You'll get stuck!" I look up and people are spilling out oph the door. Uh-oh. I go up the other side and discover mass chaos. Trains are phlying by, phull of people, with no intentions of stopping. I make an executive decision to turn around and walk down to Market East station. There I can catch it at the beginning. Now, that's quite a walk. I had to walk from 30th to 12th St, all while going against the phlow of the crowd. Once I got to Market East I was appalled, wall to wall crammed with people. I cannot explain what I saw, only that I've only seen images like this before in images of victims of some horrible human rights violation. Packed in like mother ephphing sardines (alright, I really wanted to see what that looked like spelled out). I panicked and ran upstairs to Reading Terminal Market to buy some ice cream. That would help the situation. Aphter eating quite possibly the most delicious cone of my liphe (I lived a little and sprung phor one of those classy sprinkle covered cones. Excellent decision) I had the courage to go at it again. I went back into the station and pushed my way through the crowds. By the luck of me, I got there right as they were announcing the R5. I, uh, well basically cut in line and pushed my way down there. Next to me some guy was about to get beaten up for trying the same move, but luckily, I'm a woman. Hey, hey, ho, ho, the patriarchy doesn't really need to go. Don't tell Bryn Mawr I said that. I got on the completely empty R5 and gave a huge sigh of relieph. I had been wandering the city for almost 2 hours and finally got a chance to sit. Behind me a boy called his mom, in the midst of a panic attack, and claimed that he had been waiting phor the R5 phor over 2 hours. Damn, glad I made this one. We pulled into 30th street where people were standing on the platphorm looking like immigrants at Ellis Island. Tired, dirty, and just hoping that this train will take them to glory. Some had sat down on the ground, head in hands, tears in eyes. Others were phrantically pacing the one phoot square of space they could phind. It was the saddest thing I had ever seen. The kid who got on phirst said it best "oh my God...I made it! I'm actually on the train!". 

Overall impression on the day? 

There is NOTHING like a World Series parade. Absolutely nothing. Always a guaranteed good time. Everyone is ecstatic. Everyone is proud. Everyone is relieved. It's a pheeling that doesn't happen ophten, especially in Philly, and it's absolutely phantastic to be a part of. 

That being said, Philly needs to work on their public transportation. Stat.

To pass the time the two sides of the street started throwing a tennis ball at each other. They would cheer if you made it to the other side, boo if you didn't. It wouldn't be a Philly parade without some booing

Jane and I at the parade

Swarms of people going down to the trolly

The Crowd

Jane and Me on the R100

Here they come! Look closely, you can see the trophy

Pat Burrell kicks it off on a wagon
Our new friend
Kid in a tree
2008 Champs Flag
Parade trash
Congratulations Phillies!
My man! Cole Hamels!
Have you met my friend the tree branch? He was in my way most of the time
People crammed in on the train back
The platforms at 30th St (This pic doesn't do the crowds justice)
Jane at the station
Seriously, look at those crowds!

Congratulations Phillies! 2008 World Series Champs!

Phenomenal Phillies

Well, it took three days, but they finally wrapped it up. I had good intentions of going into the city tonight, but ultimately those plans fell through. At work today I stood on the field hockey field texting Ch'nel, trying to convince her to go out again tonight. "It's too cold" she kept replying. I scoffed at first, but two hours later I knew there was no way I was going in. It was too damn cold. I was also exhausted. Since I wasn't going into the city, I told my boss I would work the volleyball game tonight. That was a poor decision. In between the field hockey game and the volleyball game exhaustion hit me like a truck. By the time I got to the volleyball game I could barely keep my eyes open. Disaster struck during the forth set when I noticed the ref was blowing his whistle a lot. I didn't care, I was too focused on how the different flags of the Centennial Conference looked hanging up around the ceiling. It wasn't until someone in the crowd yelled "HEY! MARIANNA!" that I snapped back to reality. I found myself in a quiet gym full of people starring at me. The ref looked like he wanted to kill me. They just wanted the ball to be thrown in. I had literally fallen asleep standing on my feet. Cue embarrassment. 

After the game I ran back to my room to watch the game. The shortened length meant everything escalated pretty quickly. I clutched the back of my chair as the second to last out was made. Just before Lidge threw the final pitch Ari walked in to tell me it was time for Documentary Night. I screamed at her to shut the hell up and looked back at the tv just in time to see that final strike. I let out a yell that I definitely did not know I was capable of making. Ari starred blankly then left to go to Docu night. I ran down the hall and grabbed Julia, my friend from high school as I knew that she was a huge Philadelphia fan. The two of us grabbed our keys and ran up to Lancaster Ave. Julia is only 19, and looks like she's much younger, so there was no chance of us getting into a bar. Instead we walked up and down Lancaster over and over again. We high fived strangers, we stood on street corners and cheered, we waved at honking cars. Julia wanted me to go grab my car so we could join the parade, but I declined. I've seen that scene in Remember the Titans. There's no way I was risking my life or my ability to walk. So it wasn't the mass chaos that Philly is in right now, but there was something sweet and pure about it. I can't place my finger on it, but it was nice. From overprivilaged teenage boys to elderly ladies, everyone was out. It was nice. Can't wait for the parade!

I think it goes without saying that the minute by minute account of Documentary Night is cancelled this week. So I'm sorry, but you'll just have to do without my take on 'Trekkies" which was this weeks selection. 

I'm too cold and bitter to give this a title

I'm supposed to be either in jail or in the hospital right now. That was how last night was supposed to end. I was going to go into the city with Ch'nel. We were going to watch the game. We were going to make some poor decisions and end up in the wrong places and end the night with some crazy stories. Instead we had what we have deemed "the worst night ever". 

Worst night ever is an extreme overreaction, the Phillies are still in it and we didn't get shot. I don't think I will ever be dry and warm again, though.

I knew something was off while i was waiting at the train station to go downtown. The Phillies had a chance to win the World Series last night. I expected the mood to be electric. Instead everyone standing at the station and everyone on the train just seemed...scared. Scared that we might lose, scared of what would happen if we did win. That was the only way I can describe the mood, everyone seemed terrified to admit that it was happening. I was worried because I didn't feel like we were going to win....but it didn't feel like we were going to lose either. I'll now be working as a 5 dollar psychic at the boardwalk because who knew that that was exactly how the night would end. 

I got to 30th St station before Ch'nel had left her lab. She told me to wait around and get started at the bar in the station. I went to the bar and made an executive decision not to go in as I didn't want to be "that person" who can't even make it out of the train station without having a drink. Once the game got going, however, Chiz still wasn't there. So I ordered a beer just so that i could watch the beginning of the game. Ch'nel arrived and gave me the "I can't believe you actually had a beer in this bar" look. After finishing my beer I sheepishly followed her to the subway station to continue on our journey. 

We didn't have a specific bar in mind. Our plan was "pick a large group of Phillies fans around our age and follow them". A large group got onto one of the subways, I suggested we follow them. Chiz scoffed at them and said 'They don't know what they're doing, that trains going westbound, we want to go eastbound". I saw that it was heading to Frankfurt, which i know is in the Northeast and was about to bring it up when I decided "whatever, Chiz lives in the city, she knows what she's doing". As the train pulled away a sign behind it came into clear view reading "Eastbound trains". "Whoops" Chiz said "I got a little turned around". Dammit Ch'nel! After waiting forever one finally comes. We take that for one stop (we could have walked....) and switch to the other line. Here I run into my friends boyfriend. He seems concerned that I'm going out on the town. "Be careful tonight" he tells me, with concerned judgement in his eyes. According to his girlfriend, he always gets concerned when the Bryn Mawr women come to town, apparently he thinks we're pretty sheltered. That's probably because we are. At this subway stop we also meet a large group of drunk underagers. ALWAYS FUN! They're absolutely belligerent and are apparently getting score updates on their cell phones...which is funny because there is no service down there. They start shouting out the score, at one point it was apparently 3-0. At no point during the game was the score 3-0. I'm pretty sure one of their friends was sober and was typing in scores on their phone to make it look like a text message then showing it to the drunk friend. I would like to make sober friend my new best friend as that was brilliant. 

We finally make it down to South St, where Chiz knew some bars that she enjoyed. As we walked up South St I pointed out ones that maybe we could stop by. "Nah, that looks scary" she replied to a bar filled with yuppies. "Nah, too crowded" was the next "nah, not enough people there" the other. She cannot be pleased, it is scientifically proven. We finally stopped at a bar that I forget the name of. Pretty small place but a pretty good crowd and good drink specials. Just as we walk through the door the Rays score a run. I turn to Chiz "Don't tell anyone that we walked in right as they scored...that will NOT go over well". After watching Jayson Werth at bat for what seemed like 5 days we decided to move on to another bar. We went down the block to one that Ch'nel said had "great pizza!" Not exactly what I was looking for...but I'm willing to try it. I wasn't really a fan of the crowd here. They were a bit more hipster-esque. No one really seemed to get into it. In their defense, nothing was really happening. The announcers kept talking about rain, but we couldn't see any rain through the windows. The "where the hell are they playing these games" jokes were flying. As was discussion about Meet the Press, but that's unrelated. Hipster bars, gotta love em. The game stopped in the 6th inning for a rain delay. I imagine at the other bar there was horror and outrage. Everyone at this bar just shrugged and ordered another Pabst Blue Ribbon (excuse me while i gag). Chiz and I went downstairs to have some of this delicious pizza I had heard about. Not gonna lie, it was damn good. They gave you a GIANT slice too...we each had two. We had been downstairs for about 10 minutes when we heard that they were postponing the game. We were bummed. Tonight was supposed to be crazy fun. A night to remember, a night that we'll tell our children about. Now we're just stuck on South St at 11:30 at night in the freezing cold rain. 

We decided to take a cab back to Ch'nel's apartment rather than navigate the trollys. Since everyone was leaving the bar it was impossible to get a cab. As we walked up 6th st trying to flag one down, we ranted about the game ending. "Wh-wh-wh-why aren't they playing! I-t-tt-t's not raining that h-h-hard" "It's becaus-s-s-se they're from F-f-f-f-lorida! C-c-can't hand-d-d-d-dle a litttttle cold!". Standing soaking wet on the corner near Independence Hall we finally conceded that yes....the game should have been postponed. We hopped on the subway since we had gotten ourselves there and there was no empty cab to be seen. When switching at 30th, the next trolly just didn't come. We waited and waited...nothing. We decided to try the cab route again. After 5 minutes of trying to hail one ourselves we walked over the 30th St Station to stand in the cab line. I would like to take a moment to encourage everyone to share cabs. Please, find someone going somewhere near you, and share that cab. The line did not seem that long, but as each person took an individual cab....we waited in the cold rain for roughly 20 minutes. We finally got a cab to take us back to Ch'nel's place. There I traded my soaking  Phillies shirt for some t-shirt stolen from this summer, always comforting. 

To top it off Ch'nel's bathroom light doesn't work. Worst night ever.

I'm going to try again tonight though. LET'S GO PHILS!

Reader Participation Time!

I've decided to do a new feature in lieu of this week's Link of the Week. All links sent in were too offensive to run. Thanks guys, really, thanks. That's a lie, but something happened this week that was too hilarious to ignore. My friends and I were waiting for the dining room doors to open for dinner (because if we don't go exactly at five it will result in "long lines, a decrease in FRESHNESS" and a variety of other horrible side effects, according to Nicky). Anyway, two fliers posted on a bulletin board caught my eye. I found them too hilarious to even laugh, I just stood with my mouth agape. I would like for us to vote now on which one is more hilarious.

Umm, do I even need to point out what is so funny about this one? This one just leads me to ask questions. Ironically, not one of those questions was "Why did you have a Native American head dress to begin with" I don't care, I have far crazier things in my room right now (Princeton University table cloth anyone? Coffee maker care of the White House Corespondents dinner? I really can't judge) But why did you have it out? Why did you feel the need to specify the colors, in case someone else found another one lying around (Megan actually gets credit for this question)? Is there a reward? It blows the mind.

Ummm, really? I'm going to invite a guy giving the thumbs up into his MacBook camera (the words on his sweatshirt are backwards, hence it's a MacBook picture) into my room to give me a massage? 

Loyal readers, it is now up to you to discuss which one you think is the funniest. Find a funny flier on your own campus (or on this campus)? Send me a picture, I love these things. 

Double Post-I'm a tool

Two posts in one day. I can't express how lame I feel blogging twice. Tonight, however, we decided to attend "Thesis Thursday" a new tradition in Rockefeller dorm where the seniors get together to taste wine. At "Thesis Thursday" I was accosted for not posting the live blog of our other new tradition "Documentary Wednesday".

The basics of "Documentary Wednesday" is someone picks a documentary to watch. They then give a speech pre-viewing that describes their favorite aspects of the movie. We then view, and mock, a documentary.

This weeks choice was Grizzly Man. Let's just say it was epic enough to inspire my and Nicky's Halloween costume. What do you need to know about Grizzly Man? Timothy Treadwell lives amongst grizzly bears for 13 years. Eventually one snaps and kills him. Friends and acquaintances then recount the man and his mission, mixed with footage that he filmed. Did I mention it was narrated by Werner Herzog? That's key to the hilarity. I now present our new weekly feature....live blog of Grizzly Man...although not live this time.

Documentary Night
10:00-I get a text, it's documentary night
10:10-Ari and Drew arrive...we don't take kindly to late arrivals
10:13-Paige gives her speech, did you know that Wernor Hertzog was kicked out of school at the age of 12 for refusing to sing
10:15-Any suggestions for next weeks documentary night? Ari and I get into a shouting match about whether to watch Hoop Dreams or The Eleventh Hour. Paige decides that we will discuss this later.
10:16- Here we go. This man is cracking us up before he even opens his mouth
10:18-Footage of a bear sitting too close to the camera. This footage is making me ill
10:19-They can kill, they can bite, they can decapitate
10:20-He's a big bear, he's a big bear, HE'S A BIG BEAR! Apparently this makes this man "good with children"
10:22-a "close friend" describes the day he found out Timmy died. It is very obvious he is reading from cue cards
10:24-The internet is out. I can't check phillies scores
10:24-Drew-"3-1 in the bottom of the 5th" He's brought a portable AM/FM radio. He immediately skyrockets to the top of my "favorite boyfriends of friends" list
10:25-Description of a bear eating Grizzly Man...unnecessary.
10:30-The helicopter pilot is by far my favorite character
10:31-Ari-"If I'm ever killed at the hands of an animal, you are all charged with finding that animal and killing it as brutally as possible"
10:32-Helicopter Pilot "He got what he was asking for" he then goes on to offend every variety of person. He's still my favorite
10:35-Wait a minute! The ecologists have become my favorite characters. A hippie dippie woman and a man in a respectable suit sit perfectly still staring at a camera.
10:37-A fox makes an appearance. This isn't Fox-Man, it's Grizzly Man dammit
10:38-Ari suggests that John McCain is against grizzly bears
10:38-Tim introduces us to "Mr. Chocolate"
10:40-The fox steals a hat. Tim flips out. That's putting it lightly
10:42-The currator of the museum clearly does not want to be interviewed. Declares that Tim disrespected the bear.
10:44-The coroner gives Timothy's watch to a member of the "grizzly people". The watch is still running. The woman is clearly still in love with Timothy.
10:49-Uh, something about nearly setting a restaurant on fire
10:52-Tim debates whether or not to wear a bandana
10:55-BANJO IS MISSING!
10:56-"I can't understand why girls don't want to be with me. I have a very good personality. And I'm very good in the...err...well" Continues to offend every gay man ever.
11:00-Tim spent time with women that will "here remain anonymous"
11:03-And the coroner is back to make a strong case to take over the "favorite character" spot
11:05-And it's official, he's my favorite
11:07-Werner Hertzog: Psychiatrist
11:10-Thing I learned today? Bears poo when they fight.
11:16-According to his father, Timothy was the second choice for the role of the bartender on Cheers.
11:17-Friend discusses Timmy's forehead.
11:22-We've entered the point where he's so insane it's tragic. We're laughing...but it's the kind of laughing that makes you feel like a bad person
11:28-More offensive statements. This time directed towards religion
11:38-Megan realizes that this movie fits her thesis perfectly. Welcome to the life of a BMC senior. Phillies are one inning away from a win
11:45-Tim offends fat people
11:50-New favorite phrase "overwhelming indifference of nature"
11:54-Megan, who has been mostly silent throughout the movie, breaks into hysterical laughter and deems it the "BEST MOVIE EVER!"
11:58-Back to arguing about next weeks feature. I've thrown up the idea of Alone in the Wilderness. Also shot down.
12:00-It's been decided. Next week we will watch Spellbound.

See below for entry number two. I'm going to go beat myself up for being a nerd that blogs twice in the span of 3 hours.

I should have turned when I had the chance

*phone call*

Me: Hello?

Tara: I want to kill someone

Me: Oh good, so you're outside?

Tara brought me a fridge today. She claimed she was visiting her father in the hospital and dropped by with a totally awesome fridge (with attached freezer) that had been left behind by someone this summer. I claim the main mission of this trip was to bring me a fridge. She made the rookie error of coming at 3 in the afternoon, otherwise known as Shipley School pick up hell time. I laughed at her misfortune, but I would pay it later.

I had a variety of items that I needed to pick up. Dish soap (my residents have been complaining that we've been without dish soap for 3 weeks....I was of the belief that this stuff just magically appeared), Candy (Thursday is candy day. Things get violent if it's not here), Halloween decorations, socks, a cheap Phillies t-shirt, and freezable items to put in my new freezer. Usually I would go to Target, but I'm starting to realize just how much Target has ripped me off over the past 5 years. Now that I'm 21 and no longer rely on it as my sole entertainment option...I frankly hate it. Everything is priced to make you think you're getting a deal....but you really aren't. What I wanted was a good old American Wal-Mart. Now there you'll find cheap junk, and that's exactly what I needed. For those of you not familiar with the Main Line, it's not exactly a Wal-Mart area. According to the site, the closest one is in King of Prussia. I was skeptical, I've never seen one there, but the internet never lies. Off I went. My day began with a trip down Montgomery Ave at dusk. Earlier in the day this road had been the site of an accident that required not one, but two, medical helicopters. It is not nearly wide enough to have two lanes in each direction, yet people treat it like a highway. There are sudden twists and turns and, my favorite, a giant boulder that juts out across the road at one point. At night time you can't see it until you're right in front of it...terrifying. I made it down to the mall area in one piece. Here I made an executive decision. I knew that the Wal-Mart wouldn't be in the mall area, it's just not classy enough. I take a right and go down the highway, hoping to find Wal-Mart. As people whip in and around me, treating it like a live version of MarioKart. I finally, out of frustration, turn into a shopping center, just hoping that maybe it will be the Wal-Mart one. Nope, just Acme. I continue down the road, note a Marshalls on the other side. I'll have to stop there one the way back. All of a sudden barriers appear in the middle of the road. The buildings disappear. I'm on a highway. ARGH. If I ever wrote a book about driving around here I would name it "I should have turned when I had the chance" that or "BALLS", both are acceptable. If the previous road was MarioKart, this road was MarioKart on speed. Everyone cranks it up a notch and starts flying everywhere. I spot signs of civilization up ahead, if I can only get up there and turn around...wait..ohhhh, no....ohh...AW MAN! I've ended up in Norristown. I don't really know how to describe Norristown, other than not the place to be after dark. On the plus side? Really cheap gas it turns out. I no longer have to drive home to NJ just to get cheap gas! I turn around in the parking lot of a "gentlemens jazz club" (classy? I know) while two guys about my age just stand on the street corner and laugh at me. I'm pretty sure every road leads to Norristown. The amount of times I've accidentally ended up in Norristown over the past few years is astonishing. No matter where I'm going, I always end up here. 

After turning around I (safely) speed back to KOP. As I pass the Marshalls I slam my hand against the steering wheel....I really, really, need more pairs of pants. But I'm so not willing to try and turn around again. I figure that the Wal-Mart must be on the other side of the mall. As I go through the traffic light, someone cuts me off and merges into my lane, forcing me to quickly get over into the other lane. Normally, annoying and dangerous, but fine. Nope, this lane quickly merges off the the right and takes me onto I-76...heading back to Bryn Mawr. You win this round Target....I'm on my way. 

In the end, we have candy, we have dish soap, and I have socks. Minor win? Major loss for my ego.