Expect a rise in patricide

Don't worry, OMP, this isn't about you

I'm in the finals stretch of thesis writing. I'm actually not nearly as panicked as I thought I'd be, more just tired and ready to be done. I got up this morning to head over to the Ludington Library, Bryn Mawr's town library, to do some work. I figured the change of location plus the more relaxed atmosphere would be a nice change. It was, I got quite a bit of work done. I also took the time to listen in on some conversations. 

Most of them were boring, but the one next to me had me perplexed. A young woman about my age was tutoring a young Korean man, probably a little younger than me, in English. The woman opens up a book and says "ok, let's start with some vocabulary, the first word is 'patricide'". The kid thought for a minute then said "that's killing your father, right". Now, forgive me if I'm crazy, but if I were learning a foreign language I don't think patricide would be a word I would really think was necessary enough to hire a tutor to teach me. I would focus more on words for every day life....food items, common phrases, swear words, etc. Nope, they continued to have a hour long discussion on patricide. They looked it up in various dictionaries, discussed proper usage, came up with example sentences (I committed patricide. You committed patricide). It was mindblowing. 

I could hardly contain myself when his father came to pick him up. I wanted to yell DON'T TRUST HIM! as they walked out the door. Instead I just turned around and stared at the beauty that is Mr. Ludington's portrait. 

Comment of the day

Today's comment of the day is brought to you by chrissmith on Philly.com. He commented on an article about BMC opening up a satellite school in Abu Dhabi with this gem

"Bryn Mawr isn't that great of a school. Most people haven't heard of it. Most importantly, Bryn Mawr is greatly overshadowed by it's much larger, co-ed neighbor, Villanova. I'd send my kids to Villanova over Bryn Mawr anyday."

That's right up there with the girl that told me "Villanova is so much better than Bryn Mawr because we're a UNIVERSITY and you're just a college". As a proven elitist douchebag I have no problem laughing at you chrissmith. Now please excuse me while I go watch some Villanova basketball and pretend they're my own team.

That is all.

Not even finals will keep me away from Documentary Night!

Ohhhhh, Documentary Night, the bright spot in my week of pain. This weeks feature was Murderball, actually suggested by Suzette in the comment section of this blog and then seconded by Megan. Since we could not get Suzette out here, Megan did the honors of introducing it. Also, we had screwed Megan over multiple times by stealing her suggestions, so it was time for us to give her a break. Paige suggested cancelling Doc Night earlier today due to the massive amounts of work that we all have, but we decided that might just be the last straw for Megan's sanity...and we just couldn't deal with that. Plus we were really excited for Murderball. So, without further ado.....Murderball.

10:00-Where's Ari?

10:02-Tonight I will be watching the documentary, blogging about it and writing a paper. Let's go.

10:04-The crowd is sparse, Megan is screwed over again

10:04-ARI ARRIVES! Megan is only slightly screwed over now. I should mention that tonight's feature is Murderball, which follows Quad Rugby, or a rugby league played in specially made wheelchairs for quadriplegics. 

10:05-Megan's introduction: Overall very well put together. Focuses on fun movie facts. She just used the phrase "Ass level view of the world". This movie just got 20 times more interesting. 

10:08-"People seem surprised at what I can do. I can cook, I can drive....I might not be that good a cook...I might not be that good a driver...."

10:10-This looks painful....

10:11-Dammit...this isn't one of those docs that you make fun of. These people aren't crazy....and they can kick my ass.

10:13-Hey-o! World rugby championship. As with all sports, the US is the favorite. U-S-A! U-S-A!

10:14-Joe is angry. Apparently he will be angry for the rest of the movie. He used to be one of the top US rugby players until they cut him because he became too old. He coaches Team Canada now....TRAITOR!

10:16- Oh snap, Canada vs. US in the finals!

10:17-Time for the traditional fight with the people using the non-tv side of the room..this time over tv volume. 

10:19-This is intense...oh snap....I think Canada won...

10:20-Fuck Canada. I hate this movie.

10:21-Ohhhhh Cannnnnadaaaaaa. The US is crying.

10:22-and now we're in a discoteque of sorts...?

10:24-I have a total crush on Andy...if only his hair wasn't bleached blonde

10:25-Oh, I like Scott too (Megan: They're both from Arizona!)

10:28-Joe is having a Super Bowl party....it's getting hostile...

10:31-Joe has a son Robert who he yells at and makes polish his trophies....ohhhh he's going to have issues. Robert also received an award for his exceptional performance as a school safety patrol, but his Dad won't let him put it on the trophy wall because it's not sports related

10:34-Oh. My. God. We are watching a video on how to have sexual relations post spinal cord injury.

10:41-Oh crap, Joe had a heart attack

10:43-He appears to be ok...

10:50-Keith, a recently injured quadriplegic, has beautiful eyes....I'm smitten. Sorry Scott and Andy...

11:01-Joe has a Boston accent, lives in Florida, coaches the Canadian team and, as it was just revealed, immigrated from Portugal. Go figure.

11:02-These wheelchairs they use are hardcore...I can't help but be reminded of Battlebots

11:03-USA prevails over Canada in the Olympic seeding round, they will enter the Olympics as the top team. WHAT WHAT!?!?!?!?

11:05- In a touching moment, Joe makes it to his son's viola recital. 

11:08-Mark visits Keith's rehab place to explain quad rugby to recovering quadriplegics. Keith smiles for the first time. His eyes look glorious. Megan warned me that all of the players are good looking....she was right

11:11-Ari: I wonder if they have some sort of...12 month calendar.....I would buy that. (As opposed to an 11 month calendar?)

11:13-They hid the man with no legs or arms in a box and then called in an able bodied person to help them pick the box up. Epic.

11:17-Zuppan invites the guy who was driving the car that crashed and paralyzed him to the Olympic games. It's a touching moment

11:20-Fuck Canada. The US has been defeated.

11:22-We're dangerously close to Brian's Song level of tears here. They haven't started yet but they're coming. Everyone's hugging and crying...Megan just told me they won gold in  2008, tears have stopped at this good news.

11:23-New Zealand won gold...so that's good, at least Canada didn't win

11:25-They end the movie at Walter E. Reed hospital teaching wheelchair rugby to vets. That was a downer

11:28-Andrea "surprises" us with a surprise documentary. It would have been a better surprise if she didn't e-mail us before hand to tell us. She says if anyone doesn't want to watch a 24 minute movie then they should just leave. I get up and try and get out

11:29-Apparently this has to do with her thesis, protesting AIDS....it covers a protest at St. Patrick's Cathedral that was "redonculous"...her words, not mine.

11:32-I should note that this is the first documentary we've watched that is on a video cassette. I enjoy the grainy quality of the film. 

11:35-Awkward close up on a women with a chipped tooths mouth. That's just mean

11:40-I'm a bit confused, but oh well

11:44-Discussion of next weeks movie.  Ari and I suggest "The OC" a touching story of a boy who fell off the wayward path and the family that put him back on track. It's shot down. 

Ari and Marianna write a thesis

Have you ever been in a room of 25 people who have completely lost their grip on reality? That's senior seminar a week before the thesis is due. No one was able to make eye contact, everyone just starred blankly at whatever wall they were facing. Meanwhile our advisor listed off everything we have to do in the next week. I teared up and I know I wasn't the only one.

But I can do this. And oh will it be sweet when I am through.

Ari: Well....I think we both know what we have to do now

Me: Take up cocaine?

Ari: Merely as a study aid, of course

Disclaimer, I do not endorse the usage of cocaine for any reason, academic or recreational. 

I've just been kicked out of the group viewing room because I was neither in a group nor viewing anything. Technicality. The people who kicked me out told me I was more than welcome to stay while they watched their movie. They described it as 'A great feature about body image that we have to watch for Wellness'. I ran out of there as fast as I could.

I'm not even writing my thesis now, I'm trying to get the other 30 pages of writing I have due for other classes done. 

Me: Wow!

Ari: What, shocking statistic about Polish immigrants in Dublin?

Me: No, shocking statistic about Dominican immigrants in Boston.

Ari:.....look, I know you're pressed for time, but take the time to walk to the proper section of the library before choosing a book. Just because it has the word "immigrant" in the title, doesn't mean it's relevant to your thesis.

Why am I not just trying to pass off a chapter of my thesis as my final paper for this class? Damn me and my morals. If this semester has proven one thing to me that I didn't know before...it's that I find immigration fascinating. It's too bad I lack the ability to learn foreign languages (ask any of my French teachers, it's impossible) or else I might have a career path.

Me: Do you think this question is about what I find strong about the authors argument or about what evidence she provides that supports her argument well?

Ari: It's not all about you, you know.

Most rebellious thing I've ever done

I can't divulge my location, only that the lights are off and we cannot turn them back on. The things we do for our thesis...es...thesi? 

Reading a book by the light of my laptop will most likely come back to haunt me. 

Might be back with more updates later.

Update number 1:

-A friend calls asking for our exact location. In our sleep deprived paranoia we're convinced she's working for "the man" trying to locate all of the rebels. We hang up on her. 

-We wonder if its safe to turn on the lights yet. We send Paige to find out. The lights aren't turned back on yet

Update number 2:

-The lights still haven't come back on as we thought they would. We might be quitting. It was a good shot, but we need light.

Update number 3:

-12:35, we call it a night. That's a full 35 minutes of willful disobedience, that's got to be a new record for me. Says Paige: This is the craziest thing I've done since that time I committed a felony! Note to self, drop Paige as a friend.

Update number 4:

-I relocate to the 24 hr. computer lab. The room is almost white with florescent lighting. Every computer is taken and the clicking of keys is mesmerizing. I find an empty computer, turn it on, panic and run away. I'm back in my room, let's see how long before I call it a night and go to bed.

Someday children's books will be written about this...

Tonight was holiday dinner. If you recall I live for dining hall themed dinners. Our food is some of the best in the nation and rumor has it our budget for special dinners is astronomical. Excessive spending? I don't care, it's amazing. Past holiday dinners have included "Nutcracker" with candle lit tables and roast beef. Next was "Holiday at the Beach" with, I kid you not, steak and swordfish. Our favorite? Charles Dickens Christmas complete with yorkshire pudding and cornish game hen. I KNOW, it's amazing. We were pumped for tonight. All year long the dining halls are theming their dinners after Eric Carle storybooks, so tonight's was "my birthday" or something like that, I was unfamiliar with the book. We were a bit hesitant. Birthday? Who's birthday? Jesus? That's a bit risky throwing a birthday party for Jesus here. It wasn't exactly "holiday" but we were going to run with it anyway. It couldn't be that bad, right? As we handed our cards to the checker she handed them back with a smile before saying "please...take a newspaper hat". I stared in horror at the tables covered in yellow packing paper and the stack of newspaper hats. I had only one thing to say "Holy crap, we're in a recession". 

Perhaps this was my moment that I will tell my grandchildren about. How my privileged lifestyle came crashing down. Paper and random balloons had replaced my tablecloths and candles. My soft holiday music playing over the intercom had been replaced with Kidz Bop and the typical Backstreet Boys cd that always plays in the dining hall. The cries of "ooo, and ahh" that typically come from diners entering the holiday dinner were replaced with "what the..." and "oh."

Dinner was still very good, they didn't let me down there. After dinner we had to trek over to the other dining hall for dessert. This is my least favorite part of BMC holiday dinners, spreading it out amongst the dining halls. When we arrived at Rhoads for our dessert, I was a bit taken aback. Clowns and childhood games abounded. I didn't know whether to be offended or to just suck it up and do some limboing. I settled for option 3, grab some cake and play a round of Operation. 

I can't be too grouchy, DS clearly put a lot of work into the event. The food was very good, as always, but it just wasn't a special holiday dinner. Maybe if they had done this for Fall Frolic or May Day I would have been more receptive. But holiday dinner? 

Also, they totally stole the idea of newspaper hats from me.

What happened to my white table cloths and candle lit dinners?

On the plus side, we were encouraged to draw on the table

It was also a two plate dinner...delicious as always

Did someone say recession?

Shannon makes failing economies look cute

Paige had to take a moment to classy herself up with Dorothy Vernon

The walk to the next dining location, my least favorite holiday tradition

Nicky's goody bag had, uh, this...

DS workers started doing the macarena

Paige and Ada the clown model the Operation card and her, uh, festive hat

Did someone say Documentary Night?!?!?!!

Annnnnnnnd we're back! There was a moment of panic this week when we weren't sure if we would be able to get a copy of this weeks dvd on time. Plans were made to switch around dates, people panicked, but in the end everything worked out. Tonight's choice was King of Kong: Fistful of Quarters. It follows two Donkey Kong champions in their quest to beat/defend the world record. I scoffed at first....but it was epic. I now present: King of Kong

10:00-Paige and I move the model of Sputnik to on top of the vending machine. He looks like he's flying, it's very nice. 

10:02-We begin with Thanksgiving Break documentary recaps

10:04- We get distracted talking about the Werner Herzog fan club (oldmanrockefeller.blogspot.com). I want to know if Jefferson Davis would be within the rules of our first prompt "President you'd most like to sleep with". As I chose Reagan as my president and am now asking for a ruling on Jefferson Davis I am immediately booed and called numerous offensive names. I wasn't suggesting that Davis was hot or right...I was just curious if he qualified. 

10:05-Paige discusses some Annie Leibowitz movie. I'm bored already.

10:08-I discuss My Kid Could Paint That and Grosse Pointe Blank. I am yelled at for watching a non-documentary

10:08-Nicky is publicly humiliated for not looking at the documentary night schedule and watching two movies on the docket for upcomming weeks. For crying out loud, there is a clear as day schedule written up.

10:10-Megan is unprepared, she gets an incomplete

10:11-Ari tries my trick, she's not as funny as me so it fails. Drew claims he was preparing for this weeks presentation rather than watching a documentary, we give him a pass.

10:12-Drew gives his presentation. We will be watching King of Kong. Drew's public speaking skills require work. He did prepare a written speech, however, which should be applauded. We should also note that Drew takes a 40 minute train ride every Wednesday just to come to Doc night. It's impressive

10:13-Technical issues. I'm also facing a quickly melting pint of Halo Pub mint cookies and cream ice cream. This was a poor snack choice, I cannot eat all of this.

10:15-We're not skipping the previews for some strange reason. 

10:16-Paige and I just had an arguement. What it was about is unimportant, but I can tell you that Paige won the argument by shouting "THE ROBOT AND THE WOMAN!"

10:18-We meet Billy Mitchell, Donkey Kong Champion, and Steve Wiebe, the challenger

10:20-We discuss how the WWI flying aces relate to video game players

10:21-Apparently your life is on the line when playing these games. Unknown whether this is your video game life or actual life. I think actual life

10:22-Paige's favorite video game is Tetris

10:22-Steve Sanders lies. Remember that. Apparently this made him a better person

10:24-I wikipedia the movie and discover that it's subheading is "A Fistful of Quarters" which is by far the greatest subheading ever. I freak out that no one told me. Drew accepts responsibility and apologizes

10:26-Billy Mitchell has a folk song written about him. Dammit, that was my goal

10:27-Billy Mitchell has recorded a score of over 800,000. Steve Wiebe has just laid the smack down and challenged him. This is the basis of the movie. 

10:28-C Down arrives! What a lovely surprise

10:30-I wish I wasn't so pretty and popular. I would have loved to be a competitive gamer.

10:32-Average gamer will not get past the 3rd stage. Wow. They are mapping this out like football plays. 

10:33-Steve Wiebes wife is a little too good looking for what he does. His mother has had far too much plastic surgery. He likes to play the drums on his sons miniscule drum set. As he drums they are playing flashbacks from his life as a high school sports star. Its intense.

10:34: NO ONE will ever be able to beat his record. That sounds like foreshadowing

10:36-Wiebes kid is going to be in therapy for years

10:37-Oh the world of video game refereeing

10:39-STEVE WIEBE BEATS THE RECORD! He celebrates with a Corona

10:41-This man is apparently a teacher. I'm a bit concerned about the future of our nations youth

10:42-We meet someone named 'Mr Awesome'. He challenges Kevin Bacons father for my favorite person ever

10:43-

Steve: I came home and there were two men in my garage *looks around for impressed people to ask him what was so important in his garage* 

Kid: How did they get into your garage? 

Glad someone has sense

10:45-I took my attention away for a second and when I returned there were naked video games players on the screen. What did I do to deserve this

10:46-Nicky's favorite video game is Kirby's Avalanche...someone is "seeking revenge". I'm worried.

10:47-There is some sort of conspiracy going on and I am concerned...and confused. Apparently Billy has a "master plan" and it's been messed with. This is serious stuff going down here.

10:48-It would appear that Mr. Awesome is the man behind the conspiracy. Apparently Mr. Awesome threatened Bill Mitchells life. Mr. Awesome claims Bill Mitchell threatened his own life...to make it look like Mr. Awesome threatened him? Now Bill Mitchell claims whatever he says is "like the abortion issue" I can't keep up here. 

10:50-They're not accepting Wiebes high score. We've also just learned the word "chumpatizer"

10:50-They're playing the theme song to Karate Kid

10:51-"Very recently I turned 30 and retired"-how do I get this mans job

10:52-Billy is apparently the Ed McMahon of video games. He arrives at old ladies houses and gives them video game machines

10:53-Still rocking out to the Karate Kid song

10:54-The video game referee and Wiebe are getting a little too close for professional situations. 

10:55-A man declares himself a "prodigy". This is the same man that "retired". You cannot be both. OH SNAP! Now he's spying on Wiebe for Billy. LOVE THE DRAMA

10:57-Billy gives his old lady prodigy a package to bring to the video game competition with her. I wonder what she'll answer when airport security asks her if she's carrying any packages for other people. I'm going to have to report her to the FAA

10:59-The Prodigy is FREAKING OUT that Wiebe is about to get to the "kill screen" or for us non-nerds, the end. 

11:01-The Prodigy is still flipping out about the kill screen and all of the nerds are congregating. This is a moment.

11:02-The Prodigy is crying, people are clapping, this is apparently a big deal. They have Billy on the phone...he looks less than pleased. 

11:04-Everyone's in a cabin now. 

11:05-There is a secret tape being shown right now. 

11:06-OH SNAP! The tape shows that Billy had scored a million point game

11:07-"Billy is the closest thing to being a Jedi"

11:10-Nicky-"Steve. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride" uh, yea, something like that.

11:10-OMG Steve's crying. I'm going to cry. DAMN YOU BILLY MITCHELL!

11:14-Mitchell claims he had to beat the score "for the USA"

11:16-Nicky-'HE'S A LEFTY!' mother of....

11:20-Steves daughter- "SOME people ruin their lives trying to get into the Guinness World Record Book". She'll be at Bryn Mawr in no time with that passive aggressiveness

11:24-Billy Mitchell getting out of a shower...not something I needed to see

11:25-We meet Billy's wife...hellloooooo boobies

11:29-Billy is bringing his, uh, well endowed, wife around trying to distract Steve from his game.

11:32-Steve's last chance...this is getting intense....oh no...I think he lost...kill joy

11:33-Oh no, wife is crying. So many tears in this movie. Fuck you Bill Mitchell

11:34-Steve Wiebes name is mispronounced...I feel his pain

11:35-More tears? no. We avoided tears from Billy and his minion

11:36-tears from me

11:37-could it be.....

11:38-It would appear.....

11:39-HE BEAT THE SCORE! WIEBE IS THE NEW CHAMPION! I love epilogues

11:40-Aw man, the old lady died!

11:43-best. documentary. ever.

Murderball next week. We had originally scheduled it for finals week, but Megan, who is presenting it, isn't going to be here then. Megan has gotten screwed over every Doc night...we had to throw her a bone.