The Most Overrated Christmas Tradition

A few days ago my mom called and told me that she had bought a gingerbread house making kit. I was excited, gingerbread houses combine everything I love in life, crafting, building, and candy. After a full day of football watching I couldn't wait to get to work making what was sure to be a masterpiece. I blended the frosting together without any problem. It was the consistency of toothpaste, as the directions advised, and was easily placed into the decorating tube...thingy. My first problem came with the first section. The toothpaste-consistency frosting quickly turned to cement-consistency. The dammed piece of "gingerbread" (I highly doubt that was gingerbread) would not stand up on the piece of cardboard that was provided as a base. Frosting was flying out of the top of the tube, my pair of pajamas, which I had been wearing all day, were quickly becoming caked in frosting dust. The nagging cough was then aggravated  by the dust, giving me a cough not unlike that of someone who just escaped from a burning building. My mom walked in and found me engaged in war with my piece of gingerbread and asked if I needed help. All I could do was whimper. She got the first piece standing and talked me through putting up the second piece. It was smooth sailing from there on out, but honestly completely unenjoyable. Squeezing the frosting out was hard. It hurt my hands. The "gingerbread" kept falling to the side, frustrating me as I put everything together. Finally the house stood tall, ready for decorating. While again, I found no enjoyment in making it, I was dammed if I was going to let the house beat me. I was going to make the most beautiful house in the world just to spite the gingerbread gods (the tastiest gods, by the way). My dogs had found their way into the kitchen and were simultaniously gnawing at my frosting caked pants. Really, thanks guys. There's nothing like tediously frosting a miniature house while two dogs (recently diagnosed with canine OCD no less...don't ask) gnaw at your legs like coyotes. My house looked fantastic once it was through. Classy, by no means ostentatious, New England simplicity at it's finest. I set it on a high counter and went to wash my dishes off. I heard the tell tale *THUMP* of Brodie hopping onto a counter and turned around just in time to see him selecting a gummy tree off of the house and making off with it. I honestly would have preferred for him to have destroyed the whole thing and made for a funny story rather than have messed with my perfect design and left me unable to fix it. Damn dog. He'll be getting far less tummy rubs tomorrow (that's a lie, I intend to spend all of tomorrow on the sofa rubbing that little guy's fat tummy. Ah home, life is good here). I quickly moved my house up to my room where it is proudly displayed on my trophy shelf. On the scale of Christmas fun I rate it far less enjoyable than paper crafting but more enjoyable than washing the dishes after Christmas dinner. I had such high hopes for this project as well.

Front View

Back View

Side View

The house and my trophy shelf marking my achievements in the Lawrence Township Recreational Sports Leagues. All of these are "participant" 

While we're on this tour of my room I should mention that my mom has labeled my drawers with what clothing goes where. I make it my mission to purposefully put the wrong clothes in the wrong drawers. Actually I make it my mission to never put my clothes away period. And yes, that is a Good Charlotte CD on my desk, I haven't really touched my room since high school, I like the authenticity of it. When it becomes a museum one day, people can see that I lacked the ability to perform everyday tasks by myself and enjoyed crappy bands. I'm not proud of it, but it should be documented. 

Being home has been great so far. I slept until 11 today. I woke up and thought that it was 6 in the morning so I sat in my bed silently for an hour because I didn't want to wake the dogs up. When I finally got up and saw that it was 11 in the morning I felt a bit dumb, but then I realized that I had just slept for 11 hours and felt fantastic. Spent most of today watching football. When football was over we watched more football. I think tonight we're going to watch football. I have to get my head in the game and get Christmas presents going. I realized that shouting "I HAD A THESIS" on Christmas morning won't make up for not getting presents for the family. You can be assured, however, that I am not buying presents. I realized last year that when you make peoples gifts you get the added bonus of hilarity as they try and figure out what it is. We'll be doing that again this year. My family is now on guard because they realize they're my sole contacts over break, so anything they do could end up on here. This is going to be fun.