Partying it up, DC style

On Thursday I had this conversation with my friend Sarah

Sarah: what are you up to this weekend?

Me: Going to DC to visit my sister

Sarah: Oh wow, Monday's blog post is going to be the greatest ever

I'll try, Sarah, I'll try. This is going to be a long entry, don't feel bad if you have to do it in stages.

I woke up at the crack of dawn (fine, it was 7:00am, not that early) to get myself down to Philly and onto a Chinatown bus. I got to the city just fine, however I had to circle the block a few times to find the bus. I stopped at one of the other Chinatown busses for directions and the guy shut the door in my face saying something that sounded suspiciously like "They went out of business last week". Lies, all lies. But I freaked out anyway. I found a group of people standing in line near where I was supposed to meet my bus, so I joined them. A bus pulled up, but not one with our company's name on it. Everyone looked at each other quizzically before we all decided "ah screw it" and got on the bus. Really, we're a bunch of winners. We took off at precisely 9:00 and I settled in for a nice, easy ride to DC. 

If anyone remembers Friday it was very windy. As our bus teetered from side to side all I could think about was the van training test that I know so well that states "never operate these vehicles in high winds". If 11 passenger vans should not be operated during high winds, then I highly doubt large coach busses should be driving. Crossing the bridge over the Chesapeake might have been one of the most terrifying moments of my life.

Once we hit Baltimore our driver pulled into a truck stop to let some people off/pick some people up. Behind us lights started flashing and a guy who was sort of a cop cut the driver off. I say sort of a cop because I'm pretty sure he was just private security, but for the sake of a better story lets say he was a state trooper. The cop made the driver exit the bus and asked to see identification. He wouldn't let the people off of the bus nor could others get on. Apparently the driver was trespassing on private property and had been previously warned not to do this. All I could think was "crap, I'm going to be stuck at a shady truck stop in Baltimore, how am I going to get myself out of this mess". Luckily, the fake cop has no actual power and couldn't do anything so we were allowed to carry on our way. 

I made it to DC and was able to get a cab to Caroline's apartment right away. I noticed this for the rest of my weekend, getting a cab in DC is remarkably easy, unlike Philly where you practically have to jump in the vehicle while it speeds by in order for them to notice you. I pulled out Caroline's detailed instructions and gave her address to the driver. "Ah" He said "You're new to the city! You look like a tourist!". Really? You mean even though I've taken numerous classes on cities at my suburban PA college I still look like a country bumpkin when I go someplace new? My degree is really worthless. Anyway, yes, I do look like a tourist, subtlety has never been my strong point.

He brings me up to my sisters place, which will henceforth be referred to as Gatsby's manor. The lobby of her apartment is covered in marble, with columns and everything. Of course she lives in someplace like this. She's still at school, so I drop my stuff off at her apartment and then head out to explore. A sign right outside her building tells me that the zoo is just a few blocks down. SCORE! I love the zoo. I want to run the zoo someday. The DC zoo is free. I practically run there I'm so excited. 

I'm even more excited when I realize that it's a February afternoon, my favorite time to go to the zoo. It's practically deserted, and there's not a school group in sight! I begin my slow meandering, but really I'm just looking for the panda. That's the main draw of the zoo, the panda. How often do you get to see a panda! Instead of going straight to the panda like everyone else, I follow the path through the asian animal exhibit as that's what the zoo wants you to do, I can respect that. Most of the animals are off of display, however, because it's still a little nippy. Oh well. The otters (I did not know they were asian) put on a good show for me, so that was enjoyable. I finally made it to the panda and found her sleeping on a rock. She didn't look too happy. She was cuddling with her ball, which was adorable. Really, though, nothing too exciting, I've seen her before. In the distance I spot the loves of my life, the elephants. I love elephants and believe that every zoo should have one. This belief has gotten me in trouble with our own local zoo, but whatever, it also got me my own private tour of the zoo so I think that was a win-win situation. The DC zoo is currently redoing their elephant house, however, so I had to take the long way to see the elephants as the usual path was cut off. I finally got down there and realized that one was an adolescent elephant. So cute. After I was done with them I thought about what to do next, I had seen the elephants and the panda, the two things I had come to see, where else should I go? 

I kept walking down the path and went into the different houses. The small mammal house had some cute animals including a few meercats that were suspiciously close to digging out of their enclosure. There was a hole forming that really just needed a few good scratches and they'd be on their road to freedom. The ape house had two gorilla brothers wrestling, always cute. Plus the mother had just had a baby a month ago. I couldn't see the baby because she kept it hidden from the crowd, but still cute knowing there was a baby gorilla in there. 

As I left the ape house I saw a sign "Komodo Dragons, this way". That sounds exciting. I followed the path down behind the reptile house. I noticed that no one else was coming down. It was getting quiet and isolated. I was worried. Komodo dragons are crazy, they eat deer, I was convinced one was just going to jump out at me and eat me. I got down to their enclosure and I couldn't see any. I assumed the dragon was inside for the winter. Just as I was about to leave one crept out from behind a bush. I jumped and screamed, those things are effing huge. I ran out of there and into the invertebrate house to recover. 

I finished up the zoo with some lions, tigers and seals, before deciding to head back to Caroline's place to get ready to go out. I got back to her place and immediately discovered that she has cable and that The OC was on Soapnet. Around 4:30 I get a call from her "Hey...are you coming over?" oh crap! Just as Oliver was about to hold Marissa hostage in his hotel penthouse I had to switch it off and jump into some going out clothes. Caroline had told me to wear going out clothes because we would probably head straight out from her friends house. I get a cab to Georgetown and run down into her preppy little bar to discover her and her friends sitting around in sweats and t-shirts. Dammit Caroline! We have some beers, I meet some friends, lovely. We then go back to her place for dinner and to get ready to go out, but instead fall asleep on her sofa watching Step Brothers. Oh well, we tried to be cool. 

SATURDAY

We woke up on Saturday and explored the world of her tivo. I always forget how much I love non-channel 10 tv. She made us a huge stack of pancakes and told me to 'eat up, I don't know when we're going to eat next'. When Caroline says this it's a threat, you really don't know when you're going to eat next. I chow down on more pancakes than I've ever seen in my life just to be safe. C-dawg had a meeting at school so we head over there. As we're walking through a park I marvel at the families.

Me: Wow, Washington DC families are just so perfect

Caroline: *dreamy voice* I know, I fit in so well here....

Always modest, she is. I head off to the shopping area of Georgetown while she heads up to school. While I have no need for a new dress, I find an adorable one in H&M and pick that up. Carolines still not ready so I continue to wander around. My throat hurt for some reason and swallowing was becoming difficult. I get a "smoothie" from a food court stand. It was basically flavored water. Not helpful. Eventually Caroline texts me to say that shes ready, so I walk up a few blocks to meet her.

Our afternoon activity was going to be keeping score at the basketball game. No, not THE Georgetown basketball game, the Ultimate 4 business school charity basketball tournament. How exciting does that sound. Caroline had called me earlier in the week to ask if this was ok with me. Here's how that went.

Caroline: You like basketball, right?

Me: We both know the answer to this question

Caroline: How would you like to keep score at the business school basketball game

Me: ummm, you know I usually get paid to do that, right? Are you going to pay me?

Caroline: Men, there will be lots of men

Me: Oh, in that case, sure!

Remember a few entries ago when I called myself the Michael Phelps of speedwalking? Well Caroline is the Usain Bolt of speedwalking. Together we hightailed it to the gym, me practically jogging next to her while she zigged and zagged in and out of pathways along the campus. I might have been panting by the time we got there, I'm not ashamed to admit it. We got ourselves set up for the first game and I went on a little bit of a power trip. I am an effing professional scorekeeper, no one was giving me crap. Caroline got to struggle with the electronic scoreboard which I stayed away from because it looked to complicated. I stuck to the paper scoresheets instead. The first game was between Georgetown and another school. I forget who. Georgetown won that pretty easily and without any major problems. One guy did get a technical foul, which we don't usually get at the Bryn Mawr games so I got really excited about that. The highlight of this game came when Caroline tried to buzz in a player from the Wharton team who was just walking by because he had the same color uniform as Georgetown. I got a good laugh out of that.

The next game was between UCLA and Pitt. Caroline and I immediately didn't like Pitt because instead of numbers they had vegetables on their backs. So we would have to mark fouls as "celery" and "turnip" or the incorrectly spelled "potatoe". The UCLA guy noticed that we didn't like them and tried to use it to his advantage, filling out a scorecard perfectly and being polite. It worked, Caroline and I both fell in love with him. We were unabashedly rooting for UCLA, until their players started to yell at us. The game got pretty close the final minutes and people began to question our scorekeeping skills. One UCLA guy with anger issues started trying to tell us that we were off. I am usually a doormat when confronted, but don't mess with my scorekeeping abilities. I looked him (and he was a very very large man both in height and girth) square in the eye and told him that the score was correct. Felt good, felt reallllll good. Eventually Pitt won, which we were both ambivalent about and Caroline had us speed walking again to her friends house. 

Along the way we had to stop and pick up champagne because apparently that's what they wanted to drink. Caroline put three bottles of Andre on the counter and was told by the cashier that if she bought three more she would get a 10% discount. Who can argue with that! Everyone, everyone can argue, that is in no way a deal. But we went for it anyway. So now we're speedwalking up a hill with six bottles of champagne. We pull off briefly to buy some rice crispie treat makings because Caroline bakes like a banshee. We get to her friends apartment to find them well on their way to intoxication, we pop open the champagne and join them.

Caroline's friends can be described perfectly through this interaction I heard two of them having over drinks on Friday:

Friend 1: Hey man, my brother's pledging Alpha Psi (whatever, it was a fraternity of some sort), wasn't that the one you were in?

Friend 2: Uhhh, I was on the sailing team. Is he joining the sailing team?

A very preppy bunch. We spend some time hanging out, laughing, very nice group of people. Caroline brings out a pan of rice crispie treats, which people just dig into rather than cutting into squares, it works. After a glass of champagne I realize that I will be brutally sick in the morning if I continue on that path so I switch over to beer. Somehow I end up with a glass of champagne by the end of the night and a headache in the morning, so oh well, my plan failed. After a few hours of hanging out at their apartment we head down the road to another friends house for more hanging. Caroline is popular, very popular, it's hilarious. I begin to worry because it's getting late and I'm not dressed for going out. Yesterday Caroline made me dress up when we didn't go out at all, now I look like an Old Navy advertisement and it looks like we're going out. She assures me that I look fine, that we were just going to a bar and that I didn't need to look cute. Ok, that's cool. Right before we leave, however, she grabs me and says "I'm running back to Kellys, I'm going to steal some of her clothes so that I can look cute". My sister is a jackass. 

So she looks adorable in a black skirt and shirt while I look like her 12 year old kid sister in my cords and striped t-shirt. We get to the bar and it's just a weird experience seeing all of the basketball players out of their jerseys. I see "Celery" and other players that gave us a hard time and I feel myself shaking my head in their general direction. The bar was fun, but I was tired and my throat was sore. I'm also really, really lame and can't handle social interaction. A little before midnight I go to the bathroom and decide that I need to leave. This is one of my less attractive drinking moments, I make sudden decisions to go home. I do it to my friend here all the time. I go up to Caroline and tell her that I need to go. She tosses me her keys and I go on my way. In the morning we will both realize that that was poor decision making on both of our parts there. I shouldn't just leave bars and she shouldn't let her drunk little sister loose with her house keys. The lessons you learn. 

I got back to her apartment just fine. Unfortunately I had left my phone at the bar in my coat, and Caroline had realized that I had just randomly left and was calling me. She panicked like a good sister when I didn't pick up my phone and came home to find me in the shower. I always have to shower after I come home from the bar, another strange quirk. It led to this great exchange the next morning.

Me: I'm sorry I suddenly left last night, it's one of my strange quirks

Caroline: No, that's fine, what was really strange though was...

Me: I also shower when I'm drunk

Caroline: Yea, that one's weird. 

She's a good sister. 

SUNDAY

I woke up on Sunday to the champagne headache that I knew was coming. I huddled under my blanket for another half hour trying to convince myself that I wasn't awake. It didn't work, my head still hurt. Steve, Caroline's roomate's boyfriend came into the living room and sat down. We stared at each other, he also looked like he had a rough night. Glasses of water were poured and cable tv turned on. 

Caroline and I eventually made our way out to brunch. I can't wait to be a yuppie. Brunch is really just a fantastic meal. We went to the "hippest place in DC" as I overheard someone saying for some great eggs and bacon. We sat in between two strange groups. On one side were two guys that clearly worked in the movie business somehow. One of them kept trying to impress the others with what movies he worked on. He threw out "oh yea, well of course I worked on Transformers". HA! Not going to impress me, sucker. 

On the other side was a guy eating a sandwich and another guy who wasn't eating but had a walkie-talking plugged into his ear. Halfway through the guys meal he got up and was replaced 5 minutes later by another guy with a walkie-talkie. Strange. The food was good, but right when we got it a jazz band started playing. Live saxophone music is not good hangover music. 

We walked back to her apartment, it was a really beautiful day. I think I'm going to look for jobs in DC, I really liked the city. I had to run down to Chinatown to catch my bus back, however, so I really couldn't explore. I got to Chinatown with a half hour to spare. I went to the address on my ticket and found a house with some chairs in front of it. Uh, ok, I guess this is my stop. After about 15 minutes I was still the only one there. I did a lap around the block to see if there was another stop somewhere and found nothing. I went inside the house to find that it was the stop of a DIFFERENT Chinatown bus. The guy told me the stop I was looking for was two blocks away and that I had better run there to catch the bus. Another guy had come in looking for the bus so the two of us raced over to catch it. There we found a line going around the corner, far more people than can fit on a bus. The bus came and it was determined that there were two busses, one going to Philly and one going to New York. I was pretty sure that this was the one going to Philly so I got on. 

Just as we were going through Delaware we turned and went over the bridge into NJ. Oh no, oh no, I'm on the New York bus, aren't I! The kid next to me has the same realization. We all start freaking out. Nope, turns out they're just taking a "different" route, one that goes through Cherry Hill. I'm starving by this point. The amount of fried chicken places we've passed is ridiculous and all I can think is how much I want fried chicken. I know there is a Popyes in the train station, so I tell myself if I have enough time I can get Popyes. 

We finally pull into Philadelphia. I race into Market East station and find that Popyes is closed. Not only that but i have only 5 minutes to buy a ticket and get on the train to Bryn Mawr. I just make it, collapse onto the train and head home. 

An exhausting weekend, but tons of fun nonetheless. A weekend with Caroline is a guarenteed good time.

The otters put on a good show
Look at her cuddling her ball, so cute
Fences that got in my way...but it's ok, the elephants are going to have a nice new home
Elephants!

Keep digging meerkat! You're so close to victory!
Terrifying komodo dragon
"Won't the apes escape? Hopefully not!" That doesn't sound too reassuring
Roar! This guy was hungry and was pawing at the door of the cat house for his lunch
I spin the wheel......

Hey-o! I killed an antelope! I think that means I win?
Adorable lion
This guy was passed out, snoring at the top of his lungs. Hilarious
Beavers are one of those animals that are surprisingly awesome to see up close. I always forget how cool they are
Caroline is a good sister who has the calendar I made her up on her door