Documentary Night! Finals Edition!

Finals don't stop us from holding docu-night! A quick update, my thesis is excruciatingly close to being done. I'm running out of time and all that's left are the details that if I don't fix them they'll haunt me for the rest of my life. I just can't let it go. I'm turning it in tomorrow and there might be some post-partum depression. That will be taken care of by some post-partum drinkin'!!

Anyway, small numbers tonight, but we were still able to crank out a documentary night. As always, here's what happened.

Tonight's feature is American Teen, a movie that follows high schoolers around during their senior year of high school...because that's never been done before. Some things you should know before we begin: I enjoyed high school, Nicky hated high school, Ari and Paige fall somewhere in between. 

11:00-Starting late this week. Paige just hurt herself, that was funny

11:08-Paige isn't ready, she blames finals....then admits she was just watching Watch Instantly on Netflix all week. We will be watching American Teen, a movie about 4 teenagers in Indiana. We have obtained this DVD through completely legal means. Don't ask questions.

11:09-

Ari: Who wants to get drunk tomorrow night 

Nicky: I would love to...but I don't know about the aphids

11:10-one minute in and the passive aggressive bitterness has already started

11:11-Paige: there is one really attractive guy in this film.

-People Paige also finds attractive: Ben Kingsley, the Pregnant Man

11:13-ok, the kid Paige thinks is cute is actually cute

11:15-Aw, the basketball guy is cute...in a Michael Phelps way

11:18-Nerd guy: I play video games because then you always get the girl in them

11:19-Ari: That's a lie...we've watched a whole movie on this subject...it's INCREDIBLY hard to get the girl!

11:20-and the mandatory crazy old lady appearance

11:24-OH SNAP! Girls boyfriend broke up with him. So she calls her gay best friend. 

11:26-Ohhhh the awkwardness!

11:37-Nicky: And THATS why you don't send naked pictures to people

11:39-Aw basketball boy's dad is an Elvis impersonator that performs for weddings

11:43-Oh jeez, basketball boy has a bad game and now he's all upset. I can't handle this.

11:46-

Ari: Fun fact, my high school is the most filmed high school in the country 

Paige: Fun fact, my high school had no walls 

Nicky: Fun fact, Elliot Fisk, classical guitarist, went to my school 

Me: Fun fact, My high school has 127 million dollars. 

*silence* 

Nicky: Fuck you, Marianna

11:48-And we meet the "marching band stud"

11:50-Ari: This is a really awkward version of Swimfan

11:55-Seriously, do these people not know they're being filmed? 

11:57-"This could have been a felony" hey, you know who else committed a felony? Paige.

11:59-Oh god, another basketball game. I can't take these. AHHHH! 

12:02-The fact that I didn't truly discover alcohol until college makes me angry. High school could have been so much fun drunk. At least that's what these kids are making me think. Apparently you also get the hottie if you're drunk in high school. Mother of!

12:08-Uh oh, popular people

12:10-Nicky: Screw you Marianna! 

We should really stop playing "how does this movie compare to my high school"...but it's too fun to make Nicky angry

12:13-Ari's a douche

12:16-And the bitchy girl gets into Notre Dame. Hooray, being a bitch leads to good things

12:21-Ahhh, awkwardness, awkwardness

12:23-Oh MItch, oh no, don't break up with her via text message, no...DAMMIT!

12:24-oh god, more basketball. My heart can't take it

12:26-Basketball boy scores the winning basket in the sectional (whatever that means). I tear up a little. Paige makes fun of me. Excuse me for having feelings

12:28-Seriously, alcohol in high school is incredible! Why was I not on this bandwagon

12:32-Poorly staged slaps...and a coup is being planned'

12:34-oh lordy, the geeky kid loves taxidermy. Excellent plot twist

12:36-We're (well, I'm) debating whether the grandmother and her friend are lesbian lovers

12:37-oh. Mitch is elected prom king. dammit.

12:39-Paige is laughing at the mentally imbalanced. She, like Ari, is a douche.

12:40-Best four day weekend...ever.

12:41-"As you sit here and take in your final oder of your senior class"-um, great graduation speech?

12:42-Nicky rants about high school, I go for one final dig "I enjoyed high school!" Nicky: You know what! You were allowed outside! FUCK YOU!

12:44-Everyone heads off to college....how sweet

12:45-Paige: Stay seated! There's an epilogue!

12:46-Collin (basketball boy) says he is single and that needs to change. I'm sending in my application. Aw, Mitch, I liked him too, even though he was a jerk, he says he's matured. Hannah's now in NYC, apparently at Paiges old school. Paige should have stayed there, saved us all the embarrassment of being friends with someone who committed a felony.

12:48: Discussion. Nicky: Kinda reminded me of high school except it seemed better than my high school

In the final stretch, let's all get our heads in the game and push on through. I can do this.